Just Breathe
by ItsDxrkInside
Summary: Mike is diagnosed with lung cancer. Harvey is not going to let him die. Hard times bring people together. no harvey/mike slash.
1. Chapter 1

**Hii okay so this is my first every story – I'm new to all this but I've been reading for a long time I've got through the majority of the suits stories on here lol**

 **thanks for reading really hope you enjoy it – I would really appreciate reviews - good, bad, how to improve idm. I should be updating quickly cos it's the summer and I'm at home doing nothing!**

 **oh yes do i have to do that thing where i say that i dont own suits or any of the characters ...**

 **I hope you like it :)))**

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 **CHAPTER 1**

Rachel made her way out of bed rubbing her eyes. It was 2am and she had barely slept worrying about Mike. She stood in the doorway with her arms crossed staring with concern at her fiancé who had been non-stop working even after coming home from work.

"Mike" she called out after giving up on him acknowledging her first.

"Rachel" Mike gave a reply without looking up from a scatter of papers and highlighters.

With a sigh she strolled over to him and embraced him from behind placing her chin on his shoulder.

Normally he would react in some way – usually by embracing her back or smiling – but he refused to acknowledge her actions.

"Its 2am Mike you've been working all day and all night. You can't keep doing this to yourself."

"Rachel I'm fine just let me work please."

Rachel wasn't going to let it go that easily.

"Mike you're not fine! You haven't been fine for the past two weeks and there's something you're hiding from me and I need to know what it is!" There was desperation in Rachel's voice - Almost as though she was close to tears. Mike ignored it. He knew she was worried about him and that she cared about him – and that just made it worse.

Mike slammed down the file he had been reading through and stood up from his chair.

"Rachel for the last time I AM FINE there is nothing wrong with me and I am fed up of you pestering me and treating me like I am some sort of child! Now can you just leave me alone and let me work in peace!"

Rachel nodded, swallowing hard and holding back her tears as she turned around and made her way back to her room. His words hurt. Did he really think she was pestering him? She just wanted to make sure he was ok and despite him saying that he was, she didn't believe him. There was something wrong with him. Yes he would usually work when he got home but not until this late unless it was something extremely important – which she knew for a fact it wasn't. Aside from working through the night, Mike had barely given her any time which was strange because it would usually bother Mike when she didn't give him much time. Rachel threw herself back into bed blinking back her tears. She attempted to recall the last 2 weeks desperately trying to figure out if she had done something wrong. But she hadn't. And she was sure of it.

Mike slumped into his chair and sighed. He didn't mean to shout at her like that the words came out harsher than he intended. He just needed to be alone

 **/THE NEXT DAY/**

Rachel made her way down the corridor towards Harvey's office. If there was one person Mike trusted enough to open up to, it was Harvey. She walked passed Gretchen acknowledging her with a smile and walked into Harvey's office and stood in front of him until he realised she was there.

"Rachel" Harvey spoke without looking up from his laptop.

"Harvey. I need to talk to you."

"Not now Rachel I have to get this done before the deposition which is in an hour." Harvey still hadn't looked up from his screen.

"But Harvey-"

"Rachel it can wait"

"Harvey it's about Mike." Finally deciding to look up, Harvey saw the desperation in her eyes.

He put down the screen and gestured towards the empty chair in front of him.

Rachel took the seat and took a deep breath.

"Harvey there's something wrong with him. He keeps denying it but I know there is and he won't tell me what. He comes home late and works all through the night and" She took another deep breath "-and I'm scared. He doesn't want to talk to me I mean he barely even acknowledges my existence and I spend most my nights wondering what I've done wrong! Harvey please help me – help Mike, he's not okay" She felt a huge weight off her shoulders letting it all out.

Harvey sighed.

"How long has he been like this?"

"About two weeks"

It made sense. Mike had been acting up with Harvey as well. Since Mike's try out at being an investment banker hadn't gone down too well and Mike was now back at Pearson Specter Litt, Harvey and Mike hadn't been working together as much as they used to - Mainly because Rachel was also Harvey's associate – but that hadn't stopped Mike from daily walking into the older lawyer's office either to pester him or just to see how he was. But since about two weeks Harvey had only found himself walking into his associate's office and even then he had felt unwelcomed.

"I'll talk to him"

"Thanks" Rachel nodded as she quietly left the room.

And then Harvey wondered whether it had anything to do with the incident 2 weeks ago. He sure as hell hoped not and pushed the thought to the back of his head.

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 **thanks for reading next chapter will be up soon :))**


	2. Chapter 2

**reviews would be appreciated :)))**

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CHAPTER 2

 **2 WEEKS AGO**

Harvey strolled over with his hands in his pockets to the hotdog van only to see Mike was already there. It was the favourite place for the pair to purchase their lunch from while catching up on the day's events.

Harvey smiled as he approached Mike.

"I see you beat me to it"

"Yep and I ordered you the special"

"Did you ask for no pickles?" Harvey questioned with a smirk.

"You didn't say no pickles"

"I also didn't say to get me lunch"

"Then sue me" The pair chuckled after replicating last week's dialogue (which was closely followed by a brawl between Harvey and Travis Tanner.)

"So how's it going with the big merger?" Mike spoke through bites of his hotdog.

"You know I'd never thought I'd be saying this – but it's a tough one." Harvey thanked the lady at the stand as he eagerly took the much needed hotdog.

"Oooh words I never thought I'd hear from the great Harvey Specter." Mike said with a smirk. "You know I'd give you a hand but I'm too busy working on this case with Louis."

"Hmm having fun? You two planning on going mudding again?" Harvey spoke in a mocking tone.

"Why you jealous?" Mike took another bite out of his hotdog "You can join us if you like."

"Oh I would love to! Let me give Gretchen a call and tell her to clear my schedule. The merger can wait – mudding with Louis is my top priority." Harvey snorted before taking another bite of his hotdog.

Mike glanced up at Harvey and broke into laughter. Before they knew it they were both practically crying with laughter and despite the strange glances they were receiving from members of the public, they couldn't stop themselves. What made the situation even funnier was that the root cause of their laughter wasn't obvious – and the mudding wasn't something that they'd laugh this much about.

Without warning, Mike's laughter broke into a coughing fit. It was only after about 15 seconds when Harvey realised that Mike was no longer laughing but gasping for breath.

"Mike you alright?" Harvey had to contain himself when he saw the situation was serious.

Mike's coughing wouldn't stop. He had no idea what was happening to him. It was as if his lungs were failing on him. He grasped tightly onto the lamppost next to him as he prayed for his coughing to stop.

Harvey placed one hand on Mike's shoulder and used the other one to rub his back. He looked down at his associate with concerned eyes and saw Mike was seriously struggling to breath and his eyes began fluttering.

"H-Harvey" Mike attempted to force the words out through his coughs "I can't-"

And that was all Mike managed to force out before he fell limp in Harvey's arms.

Harvey looked down at the now unconscious Mike in horror. He suddenly felt helpless as he placed Mike gently onto the ground still holding tightly onto him. Mike was still struggling to breathe and Harvey was glancing around in desperation while his heart raced hoping somebody would help them. He suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder and turned around to see a man about Harvey's age peering down at them.

"Its okay sir I've called 911 they should be here soon"

Harvey was still in shock seeing his associate collapse to the ground. He didn't know what had caused it. A few minutes ago they were pathetically laughing at going mudding with Louis and now suddenly Harvey was crouched down next to his unconscious associate. Mike's face had become pale due to what Harvey thought was a lack of oxygen. He placed his shaking hand on Mike's forehead and slowly stroked it through his hair.

"You're gonna to be fine Mike. It gonna be ok" He spoke quietly into his associate's ear even though he wasn't sure of it himself. Mike had almost stopped breathing and it wasn't helping that the paramedics were taking so long.

After what seemed like hours, Harvey heard a siren approaching.

"See Mike, they're here – you're gonna be fine"

He tightened his grip on Mike's hand as the paramedic rushed to his side.

Before Harvey knew it Mike was being loaded onto a stretcher and rushed into the ambulance.

Harvey stood eyes widened and in shock at what had just happened. His hands were still trembling and his mind was still trying to process what had just happened as a middle aged woman placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Excuse me sir, am I right in thinking you would like to come along?"

Unable to get any words out, Harvey slowly nodded his head and followed her into the ambulance.

He looked down at his associate who had an oxygen mask covering his face and was connected to a few machines. He sat down in the empty seat and swallowed hard. He reached out for Mike's hand and held it tight as he had before.

"Mike" He whispered quietly into his associate's ear in the hope that he would regain consciousness.

"Mike please" It was killing him to see his associate – no his _friend_ like this.

It was all a blur. The paramedics shouting over each other and constantly checking the machines that were plugged into Mike.

"ETA 3 minutes" He heard one of them shout.

The next few minutes went by as a blur and before he knew it, Mike was being loaded out of the ambulance and rushed into the hospital.

About an hour later Harvey was sitting impatiently in the waiting room his head in his hands. He combed his hands through his hair and sighed sitting back. He had no idea if Mike was okay and that's what was bothering him the most. It was his job to know. He hoped that it had only been a small accident – that Mike had choked on his hotdog or something and it was all okay now. His foot began tapping faster as he became more impatient. He knew he should let Jessica know or even Gretchen. If it was Donna he would have called her straight away – or she would have called him as he was never usually late after lunch.

"Family of Michael Ross" Harvey's head shot up

"Yeah, that's er that's me. Mike is he – is he okay?"

"Yes Mike is in a stable condition Mr –"

"Specter. Harvey Specter" The doctor gave an almost startled look but then smiled at realising that the two were probably not actually related.

"Well Mr. Specter you should be please to hear that Mike is now fine. We are still trying to find out what triggered his coughing episode and caused him to stop breathing which is why we would like to keep him for a few more hours just to do some checkups."

Harvey nodded and let out a breath he didn't realise he had been holding in.

"Is he awake? Can I seem him?" Harvey needed to see for himself that Mike was okay.

"Yes he is. He actually began asking about you as soon as he gained consciousness."

Harvey gave a small smile and followed the doctor down the corridor.

"He's the third bed down. Don't hesitate to press the button if you need anything"

Harvey nodded and thanked the nurse before making his way to Mike's bed.

"How's it going old man?" Harvey joked as he took a seat next to Mike's bed.

He was relieved to see Mike looked much better now. The only thing making him look ill was the oxygen mask which he had pulled off and left hanging around his neck.

"You been here all this time?"

"Mike ... It's been just over an hour"

"But what about the merger shouldn't you be working on that"

"Oh yes you're right ... I forgot about that I should have just left you to pass out and die because work is far more important than your wellbeing"

"I take it that's sarcasm"

Harvey gave Mike an astonished look which said 'are you really that stupid?'

"So how you feeling" Harvey decided to ignore Mike's ridiculous comments.

"Well compared to before, I feel amazing! I don't know what happened Harvey, I just started coughing and then all I remember is not being able to breathe – it felt shit"

"Well you gave me quite a scare – don't ever do it again"

"Yes sir" The two briefly smiled at each other.

"So how long do I have to stay for?"

"The doctor said they still need to do some tests – see what triggered it – it could take up to a few hours."

"Harvey ... you can leave if you want."

"Mike don't be stupid we're leaving here together"

Mike looked down and smiled. Harvey really cared about him and he knew it. There was a time where he really doubted it – but now, he wouldn't give it a second thought. The man had done so much for him – hell he had even offered to give up his own job! Harvey was his best friend, his older brother and he was so glad to have him by his side.

A few hours later, Mike was discharged as all of his reports came back clear. The two walked out of the hospital relieved that everything was okay.

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 **Thanks for reading :))**

 **next chapter will be up soon**


	3. Chapter 3

**Ok here we are its chapter 3 hope you guys are liking it so far thanks for reading and for your reviews**

 **Guest: Nope this isnt a slash fic I can't see them in that way either**

 **allen3smith: we all love abit of hurt mike and caring harvey :)**

 **s** **orry if the baseball references are inaccurate im from the UK and i know nothing about baseball so I had to do some research and give it my best shot. also there were a few parts where i was just like this isnt working so sorry if it isnt all amazing**

 **anyway hope you guys like it i'll be updating soon :)))**

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 **CHAPTER 3**

(present)

Harvey made his way towards Mike's apartment. He had arranged for Donna and Rachel to have a girl's night out so he could have some time alone with Mike and find out what it was that was going on with him. Harvey and Donna were on good terms now and he had explained the situation to her and she had agreed to go along with it.

Mike got up from the couch to answer the door.

"Harvey ... what are you doing here?"

Harvey was dressed in casual clothes which obviously meant this had nothing to do with work. Harvey didn't regularly turn up on a casual occasion.

"What can I not just come down? I thought we could watch the game together." Harvey gestured towards the TV on which Mike had been watching the baseball game. It was the Yankees against the Blue Jays and Harvey and Mike were both big Yankees fans. Mike smiled and gestured for Harvey to come in. He walked over to the fridge and pulled out 2 beers as Harvey took off his jacket and slumped onto the couch. Mike handed Harvey a beer and took his seat next to him.

Rachel hurried out of the bedroom with her purse in hand.

"Harvey ... hi ... what are you doing here?"

"wow what is it with you two? Can I not just come down to hang out?"

Mike and Rachel shot each other a glance. The only times Harvey would usually come around was when he needed Mike for something to do with work. He would never just come down to watch the baseball game.

"No – I mean yes of course you can ... anytime"

Harvey chuckled in amusement as he saw Rachel lost for words.

"Are you going somewhere?"

"Yes actually Donna and I are going to see this show and then we're going for dinner. I should get going there's some pasta from last night in the fridge if you boys get hungry." She leant forward and gave Mike a kiss and hurried towards the door.

"Bye you two have fun" Rachel called as she made her way out.

"Have a nice date" Harvey called out after her.

Harvey leant over to the side of the couch and pulled out a back of pretzels.

"You bought pretzels?" Mike asked with a grin on his face.

"Thought it was quite funny seeing you with cotton mouth last time or should I say ... cotton mouf"

"Hey if you think back to it I think you'll find that it was you with the cotton mouf"

"What are you talking about Harvey Specter doesn't get cotton mouf" They both began to chuckle as Harvey pulled open the bag.

A few hours and a few boxes of stuffed crust pizza later Harvey and Mike sat clutching their stomachs. The Yankees had thrashed the Blue Jays and both men were overjoyed about it.

"I told you we'd be nowhere without Rodriguez"

"Come on Harvey if it wasn't for Sabathia we wouldn't have come this far"

"Mike that pizza's got to you. Rodriguez led us to win"

"Whatever you say" Mike was too tired and bloated to argue with a man who he knew we could never win against.

Harvey sat up and picked up the empty pizza box placing it onto the coffee table. He put down his beer and brushed a hand through his hair. He brought his focus onto Mike who looked back at him waiting for him to say something.

"Seriously speaking now Mike, what's going on?"

Mike suddenly stood up.

"Nothing's going on Harvey there's nothing wrong with me! I am completely fine!"

Harvey stood up in front of Mike.

"Mike not for a second did I suggest that there was anything wrong with you. I simply asked what was going on but you assumed that I was talking about your wellbeing which brings me to think that maybe there is something wrong with you!"

Mike looked down at his feet avoiding Harvey's stare.

"Mike you've been acting up for the past 2 weeks there's something wrong and I'm not the only one who thinks it."

Mike's head suddenly shot up to meet Harvey's intense stare.

"Oh I get it now – Rachel talked to you. She seems to think there's something wrong with me as well and she won't stop bothering me and now you've started as well!"

"That's goddamn right Mike. And I'm not going to stop bothering you until you tell me what it is because I know for a fact there is something wrong with you!" Harvey's voice was becoming louder as he was almost now shouting at his friend.

"Well Harvey how about this – you're wrong! There is nothing wrong with me I am absolutely fine! And if that's all you have to say then I think you should leave!" The irritation in Mike's voice was clearly audible as he pointed towards the door. "Hang on a second ... that's the only reason you came here isn't it! You didn't come just to watch the game and hang out – the only reason you came is to pester me just like Rachel's been doing!

"You've got that right and I'm not leaving until you tell me what it is that's wrong with you because I think you'll find Mike that both Rachel and I actually care about you!"

"Look Harvey I don't give a shit what you say" Mike's face had become red and he was becoming breathless but he still carried on shouting (ignoring the fact that Harvey had admitted to caring about him) "Just get out of here Harvey ok just go!"

"Mike like I said before I am not leaving until you tell me. You need to calm down Mike we can sit down and talk about this"

"Calm down? You really want me to calm down?!"

"Mike-"

"No you really want to know what's wrong with me huh? Well I have cancer – lung cancer – and chances are I'm not gonna make it through the next few years! You happy now? You finally know what's been eating at me for the past 2 weeks and do you still expect me to calm down?!"

Harvey was speechless. He didn't know what just hit him. It was as if a knife had been shoved into his heart. His eyes widened as he stared at his friend. The only other time he remembered feeling like this is when he had found out his father had died. He swallowed hard attempting to get rid of the lump in his throat.

"Mike I –". He placed a hand on Mike's shoulder. He had no idea what to say. He was speechless.

"Well Harvey you really wanted to know and now you've found out – I'm dying Harvey. There's a about a 10% chance I'll make it through the next 5 years." Mike's face was bright red and his eyes were filling up with tears.

Before he had a chance to think it through, Harvey brought his friend into a tight embrace. Through the years they had known each other, not once had they hugged but right now Harvey needed it as much as Mike did. Harvey held him tight rubbing his back while Mike sobbed into his shoulder.

"I don't wanna die Harvey, I don't know what to do" The pain and desperation in Mike's voice brought tears to Harvey's eyes and his grip on Mike tightened as he desperately tried to blink them back. He didn't know what to say or do. His mind was still trying to process the news.

After what felt like hours, Mike pulled away rubbing his eyes.

"Let's go get some air." Harvey said softly placing a hand on Mike's shoulder.

They both grabbed their jackets and headed for the door avoiding each other's gazes.

10 minutes later, they both found themselves sitting on a bench close to Mike's apartment. Neither of them had uttered a single word or even dared to look at each other.

"So when did you find out?" Said Harvey deciding to break the silence.

"2 weeks ago. The day after I was in hospital." Mike leaned forward and held his head in his hands.

"But at the hospital all the reports came back clear they said nothing was wrong" Harvey was trying to think of every excuse to make the news be anything but true.

"They called me the next day, they told me they wanted to run a few more thorough tests cos they thought they may have found something. And then – and then they found it" Mike sighed heavily.

"So for 2 weeks, you've been suffering alone and god knows how much longer you would have if I hadn't interrogated you like I did" The thought of Mike having to deal with it on his own made Harvey sick.

"You think it's easy for me? I just kept telling myself that it's not true that I'm fine and there's nothing wrong I just – I was living in denial and I guess telling someone about it makes it true and I didn't want that. And then they gave me my medication which made it more real and just got to me even more and-" He reached into his pocket pulling out a few boxes "and I have this shitty inhaler and oxygen mask for when I become breathless and when it gets worse I'll have to sometimes hook onto an oxygen machine. I didn't want to believe it Harvey."

Harvey looked over at the younger man with his eyes filled with sympathy. The pain in Mike's voice hurt Harvey more than anything.

"And what about Rachel?"

"What about her?"

"Mike you need to tell her"

"But how do I do it Harvey? I know she's worried and I know how much she cares about me which just makes it worse. She won't be able to take it. I mean we haven't even got married yet and I've found I'm going to die that's not going to go down too well is it?"

"Mike you're not going to die."

"You don't know that Harvey! The survival rates are the lowest out of all the cancers Harvey there's a 90% chance that the average person won't survive longer than 5 years! The odds are completely against me"

Harvey's jaw tightened as he looked hard at Mike.

"Mike I don't care what the goddamn numbers are and I think you're forgetting that it's 90% not 100. And for your information Mike, you aren't an average person – you're way more than average. And you don't look at the odds, you look at the man and the man I'm looking at is one hell of a fighter and is definitely NOT going to let cancer kick his ass." Harvey wasn't having it. He wasn't going to let Mike die no matter what the bullshit survival rates were.

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 **Thanks for reading :))**

 **would really love some reviews :)**

 **also if you guys have any ideas about what could happen next, i would love to know :))**


	4. Chapter 4

**Ok guys here's the next chapter**

 **Thanks for all your reviews really love hearing from you**

 **this chapters longer than the last thought I should go deeper last ones were kinda short.**

 **anonymousW, Suits4ever: Rachel will find out in the next chapter and I'm definitely gonna add in some Darvey!**

 **anyway thanks for reading hope you like this :)))**

* * *

 **CHAPTER 4**

Mike stared hard at his reflection breathing heavily. There was sweat building up along his forehead and his eyes were red. It was 5am and he had been woken by a random burst of coughs. He had quickly rushed to the bathroom not wanting to wake Rachel and opened the tap fully so if she did happen to wake up, she wouldn't hear him coughing. His hands gripped the sink tightly as he begun coughing again. He couldn't stop. His throat was aching and his lungs were beginning to hurt as well. But it was no way near as bad as it was when he was with Harvey and had ended up in the hospital. He thought about going to get his inhaler but that meant having to go past Rachel – and she wasn't a deep sleeper. If she had seen him coughing like this she would drag him to the doctors. And then he'd have to tell her. He knew he needed to, but he just wasn't ready yet. He didn't want her to hear it either. He remembered he had told Harvey last night. He wanted to tell him but he didn't want to at the same time. In the end Harvey had just managed to get it out of him and it was like his dam broke. All his emotions began flooding out, everything he had been holding in for the past 2 weeks. The reality he had been denying for days had finally become true, he finally was forced to face the facts. Harvey had hugged him. And he really needed it. He was gripped onto Harvey for what felt like forever and Harvey had let him cry onto him and he was really grateful for that. He was shocked thinking about it but it was like he had made Harvey let his guard down as well he had even seen Harvey's eyes fill up a little bit. He was sure of it. It felt like a huge weight off his shoulders telling Harvey. He no longer felt alone and Harvey had actually made him feel better. In fact it was the first night where he had gotten proper sleep.

He coughed again this time more violently. He glanced down at the sink in horror. He rubbed his eyes to make sure it was real. There was blood in the sink. It had been diluted by the water coming from the running tap but it was still blood. He had coughed up blood. He coughed again – this time deliberately – and there was some more. He quickly splashed his face with water after getting his coughing and breathing under control and made his way out of the bathroom. He walked towards the living room and grabbed his bag. He rummaged through it locating a leaflet that he had been given at the hospital the other day. He flicked to the page which read 'signs and symptoms' and skimmed down the list until he found 'coughing up blood'. He sighed. He didn't know whether he should be relieved that it was expected, or to be scared that he was actually coughing up blood.

He looked down at his watch. It was 5:27am. He decided to get dressed and head to work early. He thought about having breakfast decided against it. He couldn't remember the last time he had a proper breakfast but he had just lost his appetite recently. The only time he would have a decent meal is at dinner and only so he wouldn't have Rachel worrying about him anymore than she already did. He grabbed his bag and headed for the door. He stepped out and got himself a cab. Usually he would bike it but it was becoming very difficult now and the last time he did tried it he only made it down the road before becoming so out of breath he had to stop and call for a cab.

When he got to the firm, it was quite empty aside from a few people who always came in at this time. He was about an hour into proofing briefs when Harvey walked in.

"Mike"

"Harvey"

Harvey came and sat down on the chair in front of his desk.

"How you doing?" There was a hint of concern in his voice. He had barely slept last night, his mind still trying to process what Mike had told him. As soon as he thought of cancer, he thought of death. And he couldn't lose Mike. He had lost him once when he had gone to work for Jonathon Sidwell but he wasn't letting it happen again. He had also lost Donna and he couldn't have the 2 people he cared about the most leave him.

"Yeah I'm good just proofing these briefs"

"Ok urm after you're done can you come down to my office I need you to go over a few things"

"Sure" Mike smiled at the older lawer before we walked out and made his way to his own office.

Mike was glad Harvey hadn't brought up the cancer. He preferred it this way.

2 hours later, Harvey was sitting at his desk working on a case for a new mutli-million dollar client. He may have been working on the case but his mind was still on Mike. He had looked up lung cancer as soon as he got come that night and immediately regretted it. He couldn't take it. Mike had such a promising career ahead of him - _has_ such a promising career ahead of him, he corrected pushing the thought of losing Mike to the back of his head.

Harvey looked up to see Mike walking into his office.

"Hey what was it you needed me to do?"

Harvey rummaged through the files and passed a couple to Mike.

"I just need you to go through these see if you can find anything else apart from what's already there"

"sure when you do need them by?"

"Just take your time"

Mike nodded and turned to walk out

"And Mike" Harvey called as Mike turned back around "If you need anything just let me know"

Mike nodded with a smile and just as he was about to head for the door again his phone rang.

"Take it" said Harvey sitting back down into his chair.

Mike looked at the unknown number with a frown before answering it.

"Hi is this Michael Ross?"

"Speaking?"

"Hi Michael my name is Dr. Phillips I'm going to be the doctor through your treatment" Mike swallowed hard "Is there any way you could come in within the next half an hour for an appointment?"

"Urm I'm actually at work at the moment could we do this some other time?"

"Michael unfortunately I'm fully booked I was just able to slot you in after this the next appointment would be next week some time and I really don't recommend waiting that long"

"Ok I'll be there in 10 minutes"

"Just ask for Dr Phillips at the reception - oh and Michael I really recommend you bring someone with you"

Mike sighed as he hung up the phone. He looked over at Harvey who was looking over at him with his eyebrows slightly raised.

"Harvey is it ok if I leave for a couple of hours" Harvey gave him a questioning look "It was the hospital I have to go in for an appointment right now"

Harvey shut his laptop down and stood up.

"Well I'm coming with you"

Mike looked at Harvey in shock "Harvey you don't have to-"

"Mike I'm coming with you. End of"

Neither of them had said a word on the way to the hospital. Harvey had called Ray to drop them off. Every now and then Mike would let out a cough and Harvey would quickly shoot him a worried glance.

They stopped outside the hospital and thanked Ray as both men stepped out of the car. They walked up the stairs to the second floor and Harvey had noticed Mike was beginning to get out of breath and they had only walked up one flight of stairs.

"Hey you ok?" Harvey spoke with a hint of concern

"Yeah this urm happens a lot it's apparently normal" Harvey saw the sadness in Mike's eyes as he was coming to terms with his illness.

The two paused as Mike took a few seconds to get his breathing back to normal and then walked to the reception.

"Hi my names Michael Ross I'm here to see Dr. Phillips" A few minutes later they were greeted by a man of around 40 who wore a huge smile that didn't seem as genuine as he may have wanted.

"Mr Ross nice to meet you I'm Dr Phillips"

"Mike" Mike took his extended hand with a smile.

"And this is?" the doctor gestured towards Harvey.

"Specter. Harvey Specter I'm Mike's bo-friend" Harvey corrected himself and received a bewildered look from Mike.

"Very well would the two of you like to follow me through" Both men followed as Mike turned to look at Harvey.

"Friend?" He whispered.

"Yeah I thought it's about time I admit it" Harvey smirked as they both continued walking.

They walked into an office that smelt like a mix of disinfectant and flowers. They sat down at the desk in front of the doctor.

"Ok I'm going to start with going over the basics. I could see Mike that you had become slightly breathless after coming up the stairs. This is a completely normal thing and I'm afraid to say it will just get worse as your cancer progresses. This means that you will have to give up any form of physical exercise - my notes here say that you are a keen cyclist?"

"Yes I usually ride my bike to work"

"And how are you finding that? have you still been riding?"

"Urm no I stopped last week"

"And is that because you were finding it difficult?"

Mike nodded swallowing hard and avoiding Harvey's concerned gaze.

"Well I'm afraid Mike that you will never be able to ride your bike again."

"What do you mean never?! Of course he will once you do your goddamn job and get rid of the cancer!" Harvey interrupted with anger welling up inside him. It was his job to make sure Mike got better again and to give Mike hope not to put him down by telling him we would never be able to live his old life again.

"Harvey-"

"Mr Specter that is not what I meant to say I was talking about during the time of his treatment but of course we will do our best to make Mike better"

"Oh you better"

The doctor ignored Harvey's comment and carried on speaking. He held up an x-ray of Mike's lungs. It all seemed fine apart from the clouds of white in the middle of the left lung spreading to the right.

"These patches of white are actually the cancer and as you can see, it has started in the left lung and has slightly spread onto the right. The tumor is malignant and it's not ideal that it has begun to spread but Mike I understand you have been given pills which are supposed to prevent it from spreading any more. Have you been taking them?"

"Yeah I urm have" Mike's head jerked up in realisation. The pills had been sitting at the bottom of his bag since he got them. Eating them made him feel like there was something wrong with him - like he was ill. He knew he was but he was still trying to make it as false as possible.

"Well then I assume you would be in need of some more" Mike shot him a confused look "I mean the dose you were given was only for 2 weeks ... "

"Oh yes ... I just missed out a few days I'm almost out ... think I will need some more" Harvey gave Mike an intense look. Harvey wasn't buying it.

"Ok then I'll prescribe you some more you need to keep taking them through your treatment"

The rest of the appointment passed with Harvey asking most of the questions and getting irritated at the Doctor while Mike sat there looking lost with sadness in his eyes. Harvey was growing more and more annoyed at the doctor's negativity. Not once had he reassured Mike or attempted to give him hope. The only thing he had been doing was telling the pair about how Mike's condition would deteriorate and all the side effects of the treatment - to Harvey it sounded like the treatment was going to make Mike worse not cure him!

"You may need to stop working soon as you will become weaker which will mean that you will get tired very quickly."

"But how long do I have?" Mike spoke after having stayed silent throughout most of the appointment. Harvey's head snapped as he looked at Mike in horror. His treatment hadn't even started yet, it was still the beginning stage and Mike was asking when he was going to die?! Harvey couldn't believe it. And what was worse was the response of the doctor.

"Well Mike looking at you, not very long that's all I can say - I mean it's quite soon to tell but my guesses are usually quite accurate" the doctor spoke in a light tone almost as if he wasn't taking it very seriously and that was all it took for Harvey to stand up from his chair fuming.

"Who the hell do you think you are?! Is this all a goddamn joke to you?! You actually have the audacity to _guess_ how long he will live?"

"Mr Specter you need to calm down I - " But Harvey wasn't having it.

"Calm down?! I don't need to calm down but I'll tell you what I do I need to do, I need to get a doctor who will actually do his goddamn job and try to save Mike's life instead of booking an appointment to hammer on about how he isn't going to live very long! And what kind of doctor waits 2 weeks before bothering to see a cancer patient?!" Harvey's jaw was tight and his fists were clenched. There weren't many people who could make him lose his cool but this doctor certainly had.  
"Come on Mike lets get out of here" Harvey glared at the doctor. If only looks could kill. "And don't expect to be seeing us again"

Mike had stormed out of the hospital - taking the stairs again to avoid having to wait with Harvey for the elevator (big mistake). Not a word had been spoken between them until they got outside. Ray was supposed to pick them at half 3 which meant they still had to wait another half an hour.

Mike stopped walking and crossed his arms. He was out of breath just like he had been when they had walked up the stairs - only this time it was worse as he had been walking faster in anger.

"You wanna tell me what the hell that was about?" Harvey looked at Mike slightly perplexed.

"Mike you know exactly what that was about! That doctor was pathetic and I don't give a shit who it is I'm not letting anyone treat your life like a joke."

"Harvey I don't think you get it he was telling the truth!"

"Mike taking guesses at how long you're going to live is not telling the truth - it was as if he was preparing your for death not preparing you for treatment!"

"Well Harvey maybe that's what it is I _am_ dying and nothing's going to change that whether you like it or not" Mike's shouting was really straining his lungs as he began to breathe heavier.

"Mike I don't give a shit what the doctor says I am not going to let you die I -"

"I think you'll realise Harvey that it's not your decision to make! You may be the best goddamn closer in New York City but this is one situation that you can't close" Harvey was going to shout sometime back when he realised how breathless Mike was becoming. His breaths were short and harsh and his face was becoming extremely red. Panic shot through Harvey's body at seeing Mike failing to breath properly.

"Mike that's enough you -"

"No Harvey sometimes you have to face the facts - I'm dying Harvey and there's nothing you can do about it life isn't always -"

"MIKE THAT'S ENOUGH" And that's all it took for Mike to stop shouting and suddenly realise that he couldn't breathe.

Harvey took Mike by his elbow and led him to a nearby bench. Mike was crouched over desperately drying to get his breathing straight in between coughs. The harder he breathed the more it hurt and as much as he hoped it would, breathing harder didn't help.

"Mike where's your inhaler?" Harvey fumbled inside the younger man's pockets desperately trying to locate either the inhaler or the oxygen mask that Mike had told Harvey about the night before. Harvey sighed when he realised that Mike didn't have either of them with him.

"Okay Mike I need you to look at me" He placed his hands firmly on the younger mans shoulders as Mike tried to raise his head.

"Mike look at me" Harvey repeated this time he was successful as Mike weakly lifted his head on which perspiration was appearing and looked directly into Harvey's dark brown eyes which were filled with concern.  
"Mike I need you to breathe with me can you do that for me?" Mike vaguely nodded his head. "Okay just take slow deep breaths Mike" Harvey instructed as he exaggerated his breaths so Mike could copy him. At first it wasn't making a difference as Mike was becoming lightheaded and it was difficult for him to pay attention to Harvey. Then Harvey cupped Mike's face in his hands and held it up so Mike wouldn't look away from him.

"Mike you can do this kid okay just breathe like I am" Harvey began breathing heavily again praying Mike would do the same. Eventually Mike's breathing was becoming more in control as he used the little energy he had left to pay attention to Harvey and his breathing.

"That's right kid you're doing great. Just breathe." Harvey said letting out a sigh of relief as he saw Mike was beginning to breathe steadily on his own. Mike sat back and closed his eyes relieved that he was finally breathing properly. Harvey waited till he was convinced Mike was breathing normally and then stood up patting Mike's shoulder and walked over to the shop across the road. He came back a few minutes later with a bottle of water and handed it to Mike. Mike took the much needed bottle without a word and the two sat in silence.

"I'm sorry ... Harvey" Said Mike deciding to break the silence.

"Mike you don't need to apologise"

"No you were right, the doctor was an asshole and he really wasn't helping he was just making me feel worse" He knew why Harvey had lost it with the doctor but the thought of dying had been eating away at Mike's mind and he had just taken it out on Harvey.  
"But at least I had a doctor" Mike chuckled wondering what he was going to do now.

"Mike here's what I'm gonna do, I'm not just going to get you the best doctor in America but I'm going to get you the best doctor in the world and I don't give a shit if we have to fly out to Japan every other day. I'm going to get you the best treatment there is you got that?" The determination in Harvey's face was too much and Mike had to take a deep breath and blink back his tears before turning and nodding with a smile at his friend.

Ray pulled up next to them and both men got into the car. They sat down and Mike turned his head to look at Harvey who looked back at him. And for the first time, Mike finally felt a glimpse of hope.

* * *

 **thanks for reading  
would love some reviews :)x**


	5. Chapter 5

**ok guys here we are it's chapter 5 sorry this one took kinda long its just been a busy week wasnt really in the mood to write but i decided i wasnt gonna sleep tonight till this is done (its 2:20am) but yeh ive done this one abit longer :)**

 **thanks so much for all of your reviews honestly they all mean so much love getting them it really makes my day - they all bring a smile to my face so keep em coming :)**

 **suitsislife: really glad you like it :) i hope you everything's ok and you get well soon :)x**

 **suitsrocks: no you're not spoiling it i watch it online :) i wasnt sure how to bring the partnership in i kinda prefer him to still be harveys associate but im still thinking of how to bring that in. and i do have rachel getting pregnant in mind but its going to be a few chapters later :)**

 **anonymousW: took your idea added in some darvey so thanks for that**

 **anyway i really hope you guys like this let me know what you think :))**

* * *

 **CHAPTER 5**

It had been 5 days since Mike's disastrous hospital appointment. He lay in bed thinking about what would happen now. Neither Harvey nor Mike had mentioned it again. The last 5 days had gone quite smoothly. Mike was taking care of his breathing; making sure he would walk slowly and steadily. The last thing he wanted was to be on the floor having passed out after not being able to breathe. Harvey had been making sure he was taking his tablets. Every day he would walk into Mike's office and ask him if he's taken it - worst thing was, Mike couldn't lie to him, Harvey could see right through him.

He turned around and looked at Rachel who has peacefully sleeping. She was so beautiful. He smiled to himself thinking about how lucky he was to have her. She had been there for him through thick and thin and had accepted him for who he was despite his past. He suddenly felt bad for not having told her. There had been a few times where he had accidentally ended up coughing in front of her. One time it had become really bad and wouldn't stop. She was becoming concerned and insisted that he went to see a doctor but he assured her that it was only a sore throat and that it would be ok. He heaved his body out of bed and strolled into the bathroom with a sigh. He needed to tell her - she needed to know. Then he decided he would tell her now, just before he left for work. It had been too long and he couldn't keep hiding it from her.

Mike took a deep breath and walked into the bedroom where Rachel was sitting on the bed smiling at him. He sat down on the bed in front of here and took her hands in his.

"Rachel"

"Mike"

"I need to talk to you about something" He said softly

"And so do I"

"Okay how about you go first"

Rachel wrapped her arms around his neck, looking him in the eyes and smiled.

"So I was thinking, for our honeymoon we could go to Greece."

And it suddenly hit Mike. He had completely forgotten about the wedding that was due to happen in less than 6 months – and frankly he was unsure whether we would make it that long. He swallowed hard.

"Greece" Mike chuckled "That was where you first – "

"Yes but other than that it's a beautiful country and it has the most amazing beaches and seas"

"Rachel that sounds amazing" Only it would have done if Mike was sure the wedding was going to take place.

"So how about you get home early tonight and I make us some dinner and we can sit down together and have a nice romantic evening"

"Sounds good to me"

"Now your turn"

"What?"

"You needed to tell me something" Mike suddenly remembered what it was he was going to tell Rachel.

"Oh it's er nothing"

"Come on Mike what is it?"

"Rachel I said it's nothing ok" Mike suddenly got up on his feet. Panic shot through his body as he looked at the women he loved. And he couldn't take it anymore. He loved her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her but he wasn't sure if that was possible. A lump began developing in his throat as he backed away from the bed.

"Mike –"

"Rachel please I need to go" He ran for the door – grabbing his bike on the way. He just wanted it to stop. He just wanted the pain and numbness he was feeling to go, for the stupid disease to go. He could feel hot tears prickling in his eyes as he dragged his bike outside. He knew he shouldn't be riding it but he didn't care. He wiped his tears and got onto his bike. The harsh wind was hitting his face hard as he began peddling harder than ever towards the firm. He realised that he had forgotten his helmet at home – but it really didn't bother him. Wearing a helmet would prevent him from getting hurt but he was already hurt enough so what difference would it make? He felt like something inside him had snapped in half as the tears just kept streaming down his face.

He reached outside Pearson Specter Litt and jumped off his bike not bothering to lock it onto the rail. It was only when he got near the doors of the firm when the adrenaline began to wear off. He felt terrible. It was as if his lungs were on fire – like they were screaming for help. He couldn't see straight let alone breathe properly as he staggered into the elevator. He was hoping no one would see him and luckily so far no one had - he was early for work once again which meant barely anyone had arrived yet. Beads of sweat began to build up along his forehead as he waited desperately for the elevator to reach the 50th floor. The rail along the side of the elevator was the only thing holding him up as he clutched onto it hard. He heard a ding as the elevator reached his floor and he practically fell out. He made his way down the corridor. Everything was a blur; he couldn't see or even think straight. Not only that but the pain in his lungs was worse than he had even thought was possible. He didn't know how he had made it this far, he didn't know what was going on around him but he was sure that he was receiving strange looks from the few people that had gotten in this early. He finally made it to the end of the corridor to Harvey's office and practically fell in clutching onto the door.

Harvey had gotten in early to go over some important files for a case him and Mike had been working on. Not only had he been doing that but he had also been going out of his mind trying to find Mike a new doctor. He had obviously found quite a few but he wasn't convinced they were the best. He promised himself he would keep looking until he found one – he wasn't going to let anything happen to Mike.

Just as he was about to reach for his phone to call up his client for an appointment, he heard someone approaching his office. He looked up in horror as he saw Mike panting at the entrance of his office. The kid looked terrible. He was drenched in sweat and his eyes were all red. He was clutching onto the door with his back arched and it was just about holding him up.

"Shit Mike" was all that Harvey had time to say before he ran out of his chair towards his associate.

Mike looked up as Harvey ran towards him. His head was spinning and he knew he was going to pass out any minute now. And before he knew it, his legs gave up on him but instead of hitting the ground like he had expected to, he felt a pair of supporting hands gripping onto him under his armpits. He was still conscious but all the energy had drained out of him as Harvey dragged him towards the couch.

Harvey quickly made a run for him desk pulling open his draw and grabbing the oxygen mask he had kept in there. He knew Mike was careless so he had kept a spare mask and inhaler in his drawer just in case he had ever needed it – turns out he was right. He crouched down at Mike's side and placed the mask over his face. Mike suddenly clutched onto the mask breathing desperately into it. Harvey sat down on the couch next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Just breathe Mike. Just breathe." He swallowed hard watching the bag attached to the mask rise and fall which meant that Mike was actually breathing. All of a sudden he felt another presence in his office. He turned his head to see Jessica standing near his door with her arms crossed. She pursed her lips giving Harvey a reassuring look and walked back down the corridor. He knew she would be demanding answers. He looked over at Mike who had his eyes closed but still looked exhausted. Then we wondered what had bought it on.

5 minutes later Mike's breathing was finally steady. He slipped the mask from his face and sighed. Harvey stood up from the couch only to stand in front of the younger man.

"You okay?" Harvey's voice had a hint of anger which surprised Mike.

"Yeah ... I'm fine" Mike nodded.

"Now you wanna tell me what the hell bought that on?" Now there was more than just a hint of anger.

Mike looked at him but didn't reply.

"How did you get here?"

Still no reply.

"You biked it didn't you?" Harvey put his hands on his hips and shaking his head with a look of disbelief and anger on his face. It made sense – the kid was drenched in sweat and completely breathless.

"Goddammit Mike how could you be so stupid?! Mike anything could have happened to you! What if you had collapsed on the way here?! What the hell were you thinking?!"

"That's the problem Harvey I wasn't thinking!" Harvey looked at him with an intense look. "Rachel started talking about our wedding this morning and our honeymoon and she was just so happy and I just – I just couldn't take it" Mike looked down at his hands his eyes slightly filling up.

Harvey sighed as the anger in his eyes slowly transformed into sympathy. He felt bad for the kid. He couldn't even think to imagine what he must be going through. It was hard enough for Harvey – and Harvey wasn't the one with cancer.

"We'll get through this Mike." Harvey said in a softer tone than he had spoken in before. "I promise"

5 minutes later, Harvey was at his desk carrying on with the case. Mike was still sat on the couch feeling worse than ever. He was knackered after that cycling and it had drained every bit of energy out of him and the fact that he had barely had much sleep over the past few days didn't help. He wanted to get up and go back to his office to carry on with his work but he didn't have it in him to get up. He just wanted to go to sleep and never wake up.

Harvey looked over at him. He looked terrible. There were dark shadows building up under his eyes which had become slightly red. The fact that he was still sitting in Harvey's office and hadn't bothered to get up and work showed Harvey just how exhausted and out of it the kid was.

"Tired?" said Harvey deciding to confront him about it.

"What? – Yes – I mean no – just a little bit but I'm fine I – "

"Go on you can doze off on the couch for a few hours" He said without looking up from his screen. Harvey would never even think about letting anyone sleep in his office but he couldn't help but feel sorry for Mike.

"Wait what? You really don't mind me – "

"Just as long as you don't salivate all over it"

"Man thanks Harvey" Usually (if it ever happened) he would laugh at Harvey letting him sleep in his office and would find it too embarrassing but right now it was as if he didn't have an option. His body sunk into the extremely comfortable couch as he closed his eyes and drifted off.

Harvey got up from his desk and was just about to talk to the door when Gretchen strolled in with a blanket in hand. He smirked as he took it from her.

"Thanks Gretchen"

"You're welcome Mr Specter – take care of the kid"

Harvey nodded at her. _I will._ Donna may be irreplaceable but Gretchen really was pretty good at her job.

"Oh and Miss Pearson wants to see you in her office"

Jessica would want answers and when she wanted something, she sure as hell got it.

He walked over to Mike and laid the blanket over him shaking his head. He was already deep in sleep – he really must have been tired thought Harvey as he sighed heavily.

Harvey made his way down to Jessica's office dreading the questions he would have to face. He walked in as Jessica was sitting at her desk reading through some files.

"You wanted to see me"

"I did". Said Jessica gesturing towards the chair in front of her desk.

Harvey took the seat without a word.

"Now you want to tell me what's going on with Mike?"

"Not really - no"

"Well as managing partner I demand to know"

"Well it's not my place to say"

"Harvey, as far as I can see whatever this is hasn't only been affecting Mike, it has also been affecting you. Now I may not be Sherlock but I can sure as hell see it is something eating up at the two of you and I also think you're forgetting that I actually was at your office this morning whilst you were kneeling beside your associate trying to help him breathe"

"Mike has lung cancer" Harvey tightened his jaw and swallowed hard. Never did he think he would ever be saying that. He looked hard at the pen on Jessica's desk trying to avoid her shocked stare.

"I'm sorry Harvey" Jessica's voice was filled with sincerity. "If there's anything I can do to help – let me know. And feel free to take any time off you need." Harvey nodded and left the office without a word.

* * *

2 hours later Harvey was standing peering down at Mike. The kid was still deep in sleep and his chest was slowly rising and falling.

"Mike" Harvey said needing to wake him but at the same time not wanting to.

"Mike" Harvey repeated this time louder "Wake up Mike" Harvey shook his associates shoulder.

Mike's eyes flickered as he heard someone calling his name. He looked up to see Harvey peering down at him. He looked around slightly startled and it was then when he remembered he was asleep on Harvey's couch. Quickly sitting up he realised he had a blanket on him which was obviously put there by Harvey – he decided not to make any mocking remarks about it.

"Come kid that's enough sleep get up we're going somewhere"

Mike quickly stood up brushing a hand through his hair and straightening out his suit. He followed Harvey down the corridor to the elevator.

"So where are we going" Said Mike getting into the elevator.

"You'll find out"

Half an hour later, they pulled up outside the airport. Harvey thanked Ray as both men stepped out.

"Urm Harvey why are we at the airport?"

"Because Mike we are going somewhere in a plane and this is where you usually come"

"And since I'm coming with you shouldn't I have the right to know where it is we're going?"

"Mike, remember when I told you that I'd get you the best treatment possible? Well I meant it. We're flying out to Houston to the MD Anderson Cancer centre – it's the best in the world."

"But-"

"I know what you're going to say but don't worry about it I've arranged for a branch to be opened up in Manhattan so we don't have to take a 3 hour flight every other day."

"But Harvey how did you manage to do that? I mean it must've cost a fortune!"

"Nothing I can't afford" Said Harvey with a smirk.

3 and a half hours later, they were standing outside The University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center. They had a driver waiting for them outside the airport to take them there. Once they got inside they were greeted by a man who appeared younger than Harvey but older than Mike.

"James"

"Harvey! Nice to see you sorry this was all a little last minute" The man smiled as he shook Harvey's hand – obviously the two knew each other Mike thought wondering how Harvey has so many links.

"And this must be Mr Ross" Said the man gesturing towards Mike.

"Mike"

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mike. My name's Dr. Sylvester and I'm going to be your doctor through your treatment and make sure you win this battle" Mike had just met this man and already liked him. "If you would like to follow me through and we'll get started"

The room was large and modern looking with a few fancy machines. They sat down on the seats in front of the desk. The seats were comfortable as was the atmosphere in the room.

"Ok first of all I'd just like to take a few scans. I know that you probably have had them done before but being a private clinic we cannot really request them and our scans are more advanced and accurate".

It took just over half an hour for Mike's results to come back which was surprisingly quick compared to the 2 weeks it had taken at the hospital back in New York.

"Ok I have studied your results and it turns out you have non-small-cell cancer which is good news as it means there is a very thin chance of it spreading to the rest of your body. The actual form is slightly complicated and my colleagues and I figured that it is a mix between Adenocarcinoma and Squamous cell carcinoma. Originally we thought it was the second one which is usually when the cancer is near the centre and close to the windpipe as it is with you which is why you may have trouble breathing. However you say you do not smoke tobacco so it could also be the first type which is more common in younger people and non-smokers. Because the cancer has spread slightly to the other lung, surgery would not be a very good option. I recommend we start with Radiotherapy to try and kill off the cells and prevent them from spreading. And if that doesn't work then chemotherapy is our second option" Dr. Sylvester went on explaining how the treatment would work. Mike would have to come to the clinic 5 times a week for half an hour sessions.

"What about my hair?" Mike spoke with concern as he began to worry about the effect the treatment would have on him.

"The hair loss usually occurs during the chemotherapy so you have nothing to worry about at the moment. The rest of the side effects are explained in the leaflets I have given you and if you do have any questions don't hesitate give me a call my number is enclosed. Your treatment will start next Monday at our new branch in Manhattan."

They thanked the doctor and made their way out of the building. They walked for a few minutes with Mike lost in thought.

"What's on your mind, Mike?"

"Nothing I was just thinking about my future you know just how it will turn out"

"Well whatever happens just don't go down the road of Walter White" Said Harvey chuckling.

"That's not a bad idea actually" Said Mike with a smirk "Hey we can work together – you can be my Jesse"

Harvey scoffed "Mike if this were to happen _you_ would be the Jesse I would have to be Walter"

"Well I have more experience in the drug region"

"And I'm older and smarter and more skilled"

"Yes but I'm the one dying of lung cancer" Harvey suddenly stopped and his smile disappeared as he turned his head towards Mike.

"Mike I thought we agreed –"

"I know I'm sorry I shouldn't have – it just came out" Mike had promised Harvey he would never mention dying again or show any form of negativity.

* * *

Another 3 hour flight later, they were back at the firm and most people had gone home. Harvey had purposely been walking slowly for Mike – his attempt at keeping this subtle hadn't gone down to well. They got to Harvey's office and both men sat down.

"So let's get on with the case then"

"Mike why don't you call it a day"

"Wait what do you mean I haven't done any work today" Mike protested slightly perplexed at Harvey's request.

"We can work on the case tomorrow. Go home, get some rest – you need it" Harvey said patting him on the arm.

"Thanks Harvey" Said Mike with a small smile – he really did need it.

"Oh and Mike" Mike turned around to face Harvey "Try and speak to Rachel"

Mike nodded and made his way out of the office.

Harvey let out a long sigh. It had been a long day and he was feeling slightly jetlagged. He sat down on his couch pouring himself some scotch – he really needed it. He rubbed a hand down his face and took a sip of the drink.

"Hey" He looked up surprised to see Donna standing in the doorway watching him.

"Hey" He wanted to ask what she was doing here but he wasn't really in the mood to talk much.

Donna came and sat down next to Harvey on the couch. Things were better now between the two of them and they had now been friends for about 2 weeks after she had left him for Louis but it still felt slightly unusual her coming into his office like this- it was like old times. Harvey looked over at his former secretary and gave a small smile.

"Do you want to tell me what's going on?"

"Nope" Harvey spoke in a soft tone that only appeared when Donna was around.

"What's wrong Harvey?" Said Donna phrasing her question differently this time.

"Nothing's wrong Donna."

"Then why are we drinking?" Donna knew him too well to let it go.

"Well ... why not?" Harvey forced a smirk onto his tired face,

"Harvey you either drink when you're celebrating or when something's wrong so there's no fooling me here – and I think you're forgetting I've worked for you for 12 years"

"Donna it's nothing" He just wished she would leave it alone.

"Well why did you fly out to Houston today?" Harvey turned to look at her slightly shocked. "Remember – I'm Donna" He had forgotten that it was almost impossible to hide anything from her.

"We had to meet a client"

"Oh well that's funny because I just checked and there aren't any clients signed by this firm in Houston"

"It's a potential client"

"Oh and you would fly out all the way to see a potential client instead of them coming to you"

Harvey let out a long breath sitting back. He would have argued back or asked her to leave but part of him didn't have the energy and another part secretly needed her there.

"Harvey, you can tell me" The concern and care in her voice struck at Harvey's heart. He stood up putting his glass down and went to the window looking out at the city.

"Harvey" Said Donna softly standing up and standing behind him. She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. He almost flinched at her touch. As unusual as it felt, it was gentle and comforting and he really needed it. And then he suddenly couldn't keep it in him anymore.

"Mike has cancer" It came out as a whisper but it was loud enough for her to hear.

"What?!" Donna's voice came out hoarse and was wobbling slightly. "That can't – no" Her hand fell off of Harvey's shoulder and she froze a tear running down her cheek. Harvey turned around to face her. His eyes had become slightly wet but he wasn't going to let any tears escape. The two of them had thought of Mike almost as their son – their little brother – and it was just as hard for Donna to process as it had been for Harvey. She looked at him in disbelief shaking her head. He placed his hands on her shoulders unaware of what he was doing and what he should do. And all of a sudden she fell into his arms sobbing into his shoulder. Harvey was slightly startled but then he brought her into an embrace wrapping his arms around her and letting her cry all over his $2000 Tom Ford suit. He slowly rubbed her back and tightened his embrace. Never had he imagined this would happen especially after all they had been through – never in their 12 years had they hugged like this but like they say – hard times bring people closer together.

* * *

Mike swallowed hard as he reached outside his apartment. He slotted the key into the door and twisted it. This was it. He would tell her everything. He walked into the apartment and automatically realised sometime was wrong. He could make out sobbing from the kitchen. He walked through and froze. Rachel was sitting at the breakfast bar quietly sniffling. He could tell by looking at her that she had been crying for some time. Her mascara had smudged and run down her face slightly and her eyes were puffy – but what concerned him the most, was the letter in her hand.

"Rachel hey" He spoke softly slowly approaching her "Hey don't cry what's wrong?"

Rachel swallowed back the lump in her throat and looked up at him. "What's wrong?! You're seriously asking me what's wrong?!" Her voice was filled with hurt as another tear escaped her left eye. "This is what's wrong" she thrust the letter into Mike's hand. Mike stared at the letter in horror. It was a letter from the cancer support group the hospital had signed him up to.

"What is that Mike?!" Her voice was filled with desperation and she looked at him through tear filled eyes.

"Rachel I – I was going to tell you but-"

"When Mike when were you planning to tell me? When it was too late?!" Rachel's voice shaking as she spoke.

"Rachel I'm sorry I-" Mike placed his hands on her shoulders but she brushed them away.

"All that coughing and getting out of breath – you – you said it was nothing Mike why?!"

"Rachel I didn't know how to tell you I'm sorry" He put his arms around her – this time she didn't stop him. He held her tight rocking her back and forth.

"I'm so sorry Rachel" He said softly placing a kiss on her head.

"I love you Mike. I love you. I can't lose you" She said speaking into his chest through her tears.

"I love you too Rachel. I love you too and I'm not going anywhere" He brought her as close as he could to him and hugged her and he didn't want to ever let go.

* * *

 **Thank you so much for reading :)**

 **feel free to leave a review :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**ok guys heres chapter 6  
Im really really sorry this wasnt up sooner shouldve been up last night i wanted it up before the finale but the wifi wasnt working off. anyway i was abit worried about his one cos it was kinda uneventful which is when i decided to bring in the vomiting so let me know what yall think.**

 **i wanna thank you guys for all your reviews and follows they mean so much i really appreciate each and every one of them! love you guys you're the best :))) keep em coming**

 **oh yes and i kinda want my story to be set without all that happening with mike as an associate**

 **and i hope the characters arent OOC i tried my best not to be and the mike being scared of the dark i hope thats ok too lol**

 **hope you like this :))**

* * *

 **CHAPTER 6**

Rachel glanced at her reflection in the mirror and splashed water onto her face in attempt to wash away the smudged mascara and tears that ran down her tired looking face. Her attempt at swallowing down her tears and composing herself failed yet again as she burst into another fit of tears. She brought down the lid of the toilet and sat on it trying to calm herself down and process what she had just found it. She knew there had been something wrong with him but never in here wildest dreams – more like nightmares – would she have imagined it would be something like this. She had come home after a long day at law school and was rummaging through the post when she saw a letter addressed to Mike. Normally she would put it to the back of the pile and not bother with it but this letter was different. In the corner was a stamp read 'cancer care' which was what had caused her to open the letter. All she had to do was read the first line 'Dear Mr Ross, We have been notified of your diagnosis of non-small cell lung cancer' and at reading that she couldn't go on. It was too much to take in and she couldn't believe what her eyes were telling her. She had spent the next 10 minutes re-reading that line with tears running down her face. She kept telling herself that none of this was possible and that it couldn't be true. And then Mike came home. The look in his eyes when he saw what Rachel was reading confirmed that it was in fact all true. He wore a look of guilt mixed with sadness as he brought Rachel into an embrace. It was then when she realised he had been wearing that look for a few weeks now but he had been so good at concealing it with what must have been a fake smile to hide his pain. But now he no longer was forced to hide it and Rachel could fully see the sadness and pain on his face. She breathed heavily in attempt to calm herself. The thought of anything happening to Mike was too much for her to bear. It was as if her whole world had come crashing down. But what was worse was when she thought about how Mike must have been feeling. She took a deep breath and found she had to be strong – if not for herself but for Mike. She needed to support him through this and she couldn't do it by becoming weak herself. She thought about how hard it must have been for Mike having to live with something like this weighing him down. Then she wondered how long he had been silently suffering for which brought a few more tears to her eyes but she forced them back down remembering she had to be strong. She washed her face once again letting the cold water run down her face replacing the hot tears. She reached out for the towel patting her face dry and breathing heavily into it taking in the fresh smell of comfort.

Mike took a sip of his wine and placed it back down onto the table next to the glass he had poured in for Rachel. Bringing his hands back through his hair, he sighed. He had been dreading her finding out but little did he know she would find out like this. The pain on her face had been too much for him to take as he had brought a tearful Rachel into an embrace and unwillingly slipped down a few of his own. But part of him was relieved that she had found out, it felt as if the weight he had been carrying on his shoulders had finally been removed.

Rachel walked into the room and Mike brought his eyes up to meet hers. Her hair was now tied up into a ponytail and the makeup from her face had been removed. She did however look somewhat better than before as she no longer looked as distraught. She came and sat down close next to Mike and he reached over and passed her the glass of wine. As much as he was dreading this conversation, he knew it was about time and he had avoided it for too long.

Rachel reached out and took Mike's hand in her free one.

"So ... how long have you known?" She swallowed hard taking a small breath. There were about a million questions going through her mind and she thought this was a good one to start with.

"Almost 3 weeks now"

"And so ... for 3 weeks you've been suffering through this alone" She forced herself to blink back her tears remembering she had to stay strong for him.

Mike sighed "I told Harvey last week"

A part of Rachel was glad that Harvey knew but part of her wished he had told her instead of Harvey. And it was still 2 weeks that Mike had to suffer on his own and it made sense as to why he was acting the way he was.

"And what are they going to do about it?" still trying to compose herself.

"Harvey being Harvey managed to get my treatment done at one of the best clinics. I start radiotherapy on Monday. Hopefully that will stop it from spreading and might kill it off". Mike spoke softly, smoothing his thumb over Rachel's hand.

Rachel's lip begun to quiver much against her will and as much as she tried to stop it, her eyes began welling up. It was too much to take in and as much as tried to stop herself, to be strong for Mike, she couldn't hold it in and she suddenly hated herself for it, she didn't want to make it any harder for him than it already was.

"Hey Rach it will be ok I promise" Mike took the glass out of Rachel's hand placing it onto the coffee table and brought her into an embrace. Rachel dug her head into Mike's chest taking in his scent. It was alot to take in and they had a long road ahead of them. They would just have to take it one step at a time.

* * *

 **MONDAY**

Mike hit the snooze button once again. It was Monday morning and he had been dreading it all week. So it would seem strange that he was dreading something that was supposed to make him better but he couldn't help the fear that kept rising in his stomach. What if it didn't work? What if something went wrong? What about the side effects? He had been assured by his doctor that it would all be ok but that didn't stop him from worrying. He would go to work as normal and would have to be at the clinic for 12pm. He realised this would become a routine as his treatment course was 4 days a week for half an hour sessions.

His alarm clock buzzed again and he slammed his hand on it in frustration.

"Really Mike?" He looked up slightly startled to see Rachel standing next to him. She sat on the side of the bed and took his hands in hers.

"I'm sorry I can't make it today" Rachel had to go to law school and as much as she had tried to get out of it, she had an exam that she couldn't afford to miss.

"Hey its fine plus it's going to be going on for a long time" Mike said with a chuckle trying to put some humour into the situation.

"We're going to get through this" Rachel said with determination and Mike smiled remembering that it was exactly what Harvey had said to him as well. It was nice to have to not go through it alone.

"We are" Mike leaned forward and planted his lips on Rachel's.

* * *

The wait till 12pm seemed to last forever. He had some files in front of him that needed to be done and on a normal day they would have been done a long time ago but he just couldn't bring his mind to concentrate on them. He glanced down eagerly at his watch once again and frowned in disbelief. It had only been 3 minutes since he last checked it but he had been convinced that it was nearing half an hour. He put his pen down and held his head in his hands. His leg was shaking uncontrollably and he was – to say the least – extremely nervous. He breathed deep breaths trying to regain his composure. His deep breaths suddenly led him to an epiphany as he jumped up in his seat. The drive to the clinic was about half an hour so he should be leaving 40 minutes before 12pm not _at_ 12pm. He looked at his watch to see it was 11:15. It seemed stupid that he had only just realised this and that it mattered to him but he had been so fixed on 12pm and was becoming very impatient. He quickly tidied some of his stuff away and just as he reached for his bag, Harvey appeared at his door.

"You ready?" Harvey spoke casually.

"Wait ... you're ..."

"Yes Mike of course I'm coming – now come on Ray's waiting outside" Mike smiled at the older man as they both walked towards the elevator.

"Nervous?" Harvey asked Mike.

"Well you know ... just a little bit" _Alot._

"It'll be fine" Said Harvey patting Mike on the back.

The drive to the clinic was mainly quite. Mike's leg was shaking furiously as he stared out of the window the whole time. When they got there, they were greeted by Dr Sylvester who was in his normal jolly mood.

"Mike, Harvey great to see you both. You're looking great Mike! And loving the 3 piece Harv" He said shaking hands with the two of them.

"Okay follow me down the corridor and let's get started"

The doctor explained the whole process to them and left Harvey waiting in the room while he took Mike into a separate room. The room was dim and mainly empty except for one large machine and a computer.

"Ok Mike so what's gonna happen is you're going to lie down on the bed and its going to take you into the machine where it will direct the beam at your lungs. It will only last about 15 minutes."

Mike nodded and let out a breath.

"It's okay to be nervous but trust me when I say it will be ok"

The doctor led Mike to the bed and pushed a few buttons and the room went dark. Mike was slightly startled by the darkness. He hadn't ever mentioned it to anyone but he had a slight fear of the dark. He didn't like the idea of not being able to see what was happening around him. It wasn't that bad that he couldn't cope – he just didn't like it very much. The doctor went over to the computer and soon Mike was in the machine.

15 minutes later, the session was complete and much to Mike's delight, it hadn't been as bad as he had thought it would. He did however feel slightly nauseous and tired but he brushed it off thinking of it as nothing. He was also extremely hungry as he had barely eaten since yesterday. He had been told the side effects but hadn't been paying attention and only managed to pick up the part about soreness and redness.

He walked into the room, his stomach rumbling, where Harvey had been waiting and from there both men thanked the doctor and walked outside where Ray was already waiting.

"How'd it go in there?" Harvey questioned as they got into the car.

"It was ok just spent 15 minutes in a giant x-ray machine in the dark"

"Don't tell me you're scared of the dark" Harvey mocked

"Well not exactly I –" Mike muttered nervously.

"No way?! You really are scared of the dark!" Harvey was clearly amused at the situation.

"Well you never know what could be out there ... and I'm not scared ... I just get a bit ... Uncomfortable" Harvey shook his head in disbelief which a smirk on his face. Mike knew he would never hear the end of this.

10 minutes later they pulled up somewhere which certainly wasn't Pearson Specter Litt.

"Urm Harvey where are we?"

"Oh I thought we could grab a bite on our way back" Harvey glanced down at his watch "It is lunch time"

Mike smiled as they both stepped out of the car and his smile grew bigger when he saw they were at the steak restaurant he had told Harvey about.

"Steak?"

"Yeah I thought I'd treat you"

After they had finished their food they both sat clutching their stomachs.

"Oh that was good" Mike had really needed that. _Things really taste better when you're hungry_ he thought to himself. They sat and talked for a few minutes with their usual banter when Harvey got up to go to the toilet for the second time.

"Really Harvey – second time? You've had one glass" Mike said in a mocking tone as Harvey glared at him.

* * *

They were soon back at the firm and had both returned to their own offices. Louis had just handed Mike a case he needed to help him out with and it was proving quite a challenge. He sighed heavily. It was a long case and he knew that meant he would be working with Louis for the rest of the week. He didn't mind Louis that much but sometimes he could be a real pain in the ass. All of a sudden Mike was hit with a sudden wave of nausea. He pushed his chair back from his desk and took a deep breath. He didn't know what had brought it on but it didn't feel good. He quickly stood from his chair as he felt it getting worse and made his way towards the bathroom.

* * *

"Harvey"

"Louis" Harvey didn't look up from his laptop.

"Where's Mike?"

"Louis you're the one working with him"

"Yes but you're the one he really works for. He hasn't been at his desk for" Louis paused looking at his watch "6 minutes and 43 seconds and I need the files he's working on."

"I don't know Louis"

Louis crossed his arms and stared at Harvey in a childish manner waiting for Harvey to fully acknowledge him.

"Louis I'm telling you I really don't know, now could you please do me a favour and leave so I can get on with my work" Harvey said finally looking up from the screen.

Louis frowned slightly pursing his lips but turned to leave.

Harvey sat back slightly perplexed. It wasn't like Mike to wonder off without saying where he was going. He stood from his chair needing to go to toilet again. He was growing slightly irritated at his need to go to urinate so often.

He pushed open the door of the men's toilets and walked in. He paused abruptly at hearing what sounding like someone groaning. He walked towards the cubicles from where it was coming from and the sounds became clearer. Someone was throwing up. Harvey located the cubicle it was coming from and his heart fell. It was Mike. He knew it. It was weird to recognise someone by hearing them vomit but he was sure it was him.

"Mike" He called out.

"Mike" This time it was slightly louder, his voice growing with concern.

Mike retched once again and the steak he had just eaten came violently storming out. He was crouched over the toilet seat breathing heavily. He didn't know why it was happening but he felt terrible. Sweat was building up along his forehead and a few tears slipped down his face.

"Mike" He heard a worried voice call. It was Harvey. He groaned hard. He didn't want anyone – let alone Harvey - to see him like this.

"Mike come on open up it's ok" His body felt weak and he felt helpless. "Open the door Mike" Mike reached for the flush and pressed the button washing all the vomit down. He then used the little energy he had to open the latch and collapsed back down onto the floor as a wave of dizziness struck him.

The door finally unlocked and Harvey swung it open only to find Mike looking extremely pale leaning against the wall of the cubicle. Harvey sighed sympathetically. He knelt down beside the younger man.

"You better?"

"Yeh just abit" Mike muttered, nodding vaguely. It had felt slightly better getting it all out but he was now completely drained – and he couldn't help feeling somewhat bad for throwing up all the food Harvey had kindly taken him out to eat - after all the bill wasn't small. Harvey helped him to his feet and over to the sink where Mike splashed cold water onto his face and wiped his mouth.

"Side effects?"

"I guess" Mike said remembering that the doctor had mentioned something about sickness.

"Why don't you call it a day?" Mike was just about to say something when Harvey spoke instead "I'll handle Louis you get some rest" He said patting Mike on the arm. Mike nodded gratefully and began to walk towards the door but he suddenly swayed and Harvey caught him by his arm.

"Easy there tiger" Harvey led him outside and called for a cab as Mike was clearly not well enough to do so himself.

"Thanks Harvey" said Mike clambering into the taxi.

"Don't mention it" He replied closing the door.

* * *

Mike spent the rest of the day in bed too exhausted to do anything else. Luckily Rachel would be coming back from Law school late so she wouldn't have to worry why he was in bed early. A few hours later Mike was awoken by movement next to him.

"Hey" He heard a gentle voice "Sorry I didn't mean to wake you I tried to be quiet."

Mike smiled at his fiancé "It's okay, how did your exam go?"

"It went well actually. How did it go for you?"

"Yeah it went well actually" They both smiled at each other "No really it was fine it didn't last long"

"I'm glad. Are you up for some dinner?"

"No I'm full– Harvey actually took me out for lunch today" Said Mike with a chuckle not mentioning the fact that he had thrown it all up. He was feeling quite hungry but he knew if he ate something now it would end up coming right back out.

"Ok well I'm going to find something to eat and I'll be right back" Rachel kissed Mike on his forehead and went into the kitchen. By the time she got back he was already fast asleep. She smiled looking down at how peaceful he looked. She stroked a hand through his hair sighing. _Why him?_ she thought to herself _why Mike?_

* * *

Mike suddenly sat up in bed panting. It was happening again. He clambered out of bed rushing into the bathroom as he felt the nausea hit him. He got to the toilet just in time as he began throwing up. There was nothing in his system and all that was coming out was mucus and water. He repeatedly retched and gagged and it felt horrible. With every gag he was becoming more and more exhausted and began to feel dizzy. To his surprise he felt a comforting hand on his back. Rachel sat beside him with a look of worry on her face rubbing circles on his back.

"Hey it's okay" She said in her gentle comforting tone as she held Mike. She smoothed a hand through his hair as he took deep breaths.

Suddenly he retched again clutching onto the toilet seat. Rachel continued to rub his back and hold him as he did so. Once he was done he fell onto the floor his back against the wall and she handed him a glass of water. He drunk it swallowing down the disgusting taste in his mouth. Rachel sat beside him and put an arm around him and bringing the other one from in front so she had him in an embrace. Mike rested his head on her shoulder and closed his eyes as she planted a kiss onto his head.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading :)) x**

 **keep them reviews coming :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**ok guyyyys its chapter 7 ... i actually really enjoyed writing this one**

 **thanks again for all your reviews and stuff**

 **suitsislife: see im not sure whats gonna happen with mike and rachel now cos her parents will definitely not want her to marry him after finding out so im not too sure its possible but then it probs wont be the nice wedding i wanted it to be. tryna think of who it could be who snitched on him akorsh said its someone unexpected so im tryna think outside the box i think it could be logan or even jeff malone idk and he got arrested for conspiracy which is when 2 or more people are involved in the planning so its gonna affect harvey and jessica as well i cant wait for 5x11**

 **Specter: i know january is too far away the wait is killing me**

 **school starts on wednesday so i'll try my best to get the updates coming quick but cant promise anything**

 **anyway hope you like this :))**

* * *

 **CHAPTER 7**

It had been a tough week for Mike. His system wasn't dealing with the side effects of the treatment very well and he had spent the first 2 days throwing up - and it wasn't even the normal throwing up that would happen when you were ill - it was worse. It would completely drain the energy out of him and make him feel extremely dizzy and lightheaded. He had been forced by Rachel to take the day off after she found him crouched over the toilet seat throwing up at 3am. As expected, he objected - there was no way he was taking a day off when there was so much work to get done, he had been slacking as it was over the last few days and he was desperate to make up for it and start working in the way he used to. But Rachel called Harvey who told him that if he came in to work then he would fire him - he knew Harvey wouldn't but he decided it was best if he just stayed at home (his decision had nothing to do with the fact that he threw up once again that morning and felt terrible). The following day he was feeling slightly better - well enough for him to convince Rachel that he was ready to go to work - and all in all that was a good day. He had been ever so slightly scolded at by Louis for not getting the work that he was supposed to have done (they were still working on the big case together) but it hadn't been the normal telling off that Louis would have usually given him - it was almost as if Louis was scared to say anything to Mike for some odd reason. Then he heard Louis mutter something about Harvey saving his ass and he suddenly remembered Harvey saying he would deal with Louis after he had thrown up and Harvey had found him. He had smirked all the way back to his office and his smile grew even bigger when he found a loophole that could potentially win them the case and Louis had been so happy he could kiss Mike (he had literally said that out loud causing Mike to take a step back as they received strange glances from other associates who had overheard). He had his normal lunch at the hotdog stand with Harvey who had refused to take him out for another steak - despite him putting up a convincing argument that he had thrown up the one from the day before - but that gave Harvey the upper hand as he told Mike that he wasn't risking it going to waste again. He was getting used to the small gestures that Harvey made - walking slower so Mike wouldn't become breathless, avoiding any stairs and checking to see if Mike had taken his medicine every day. He appreciated these little things and therefore decided not to mock them or accuse Harvey of caring - they were sort of past that stage now. And to top it all off, Rachel had made his favourite dinner and they had a nice night in snuggling in front of the TV watching Game of Thrones - Harvey had let them both go home early for the night - which was again something that he had been doing more regularly. The rest of the week had been had its ups and downs. He had only thrown up twice during the rest of the week which he was grateful for as both times it was at home and he had expected it to happen more than twice. He had arranged for his radiotherapy sessions to take place in the mornings to he wouldn't have to leave work in the middle of the day - this had caused Louis to become curious and slightly agitated but he figured the reason Louis hadn't pestered him about it was because of Harvey - again he was really grateful for the man. But since last night his coughing had become slightly worse and he was constantly having to take his inhaler. Rachel was growing more than concerned particularly when he had gotten up 6 times during dinner to rush to the bathroom to calm down (turns out Rachel had been taking count). She had insisted that he call up the doctor to speak to him about it (he didn't have another treatment session for 2 days so he wouldn't be seeing him) but Mike had managed to convince her that she had added too much pepper to the pasta and he would be fine in the morning. Turns out he was wrong and right now he was in the bathroom taking puffs from his inhaler while Rachel was on the phone to Dr. Sylvester. He strolled casually out of the bathroom at hearing Rachel hang up the phone.

"So what piece of magic advice did he give?"

Rachel raised her eyebrows at him.

"He said that coughing was normal but anything excessive could be because of dust or a lack of fresh air so you need to be getting more fresh air instead of spending all day in that stuffy office of yours"

"Come on I get plenty of fresh air and plus, my office is great" Mike said with a smile that convinced Rachel he wasn't taking his as seriously as he should be.

"Mike I'm being serious. You need to start taking more care of yourself"

Mike reached out and put his arms around her neck.

"Hey I'm fine okay there's nothing to worry about" Rachel didn't look convinced. "Alright fine, I promise I'll start taking more care of myself" Rachel smiled at her fiancé as he smoothed her hair away from her face. "But I'm working late tonight I have a lot to do for Harvey" Rachel was just about to interrupt but Mike got there first "It'll be fine. He's been cutting me too much slack lately and I need to make it up to him."

After managing to convince Rachel that he would be ok, they both left for work.

* * *

Mike was sitting in his office working on the files for Harvey when a not-so-happy Louis stormed in.

"Mike Ross - my office now." And he left before Mike had a chance to utter a word.

Mike followed him to his office trying to keep up with him but having to slow down as he felt himself becoming breathless. Louis shut the glass door as Mike stepped into the room. Louis walked over to his desk and picked up a file flicking through the pages.

"Do you know what this is Mike? This is bullshit." Mike raised his eyebrows slightly surprised. "Mike when I give you work to complete I do not mean for you to brush it off so you can get on with something Harvey as given you to do, I mean for you to complete it to a more than decent standard. Finding that loophole does not mean that I'm going to let you get away with slacking because in the book of Litt any form of work that does not meet the Litt standard is not acceptable" Mike chuckled to himself picturing an ancient book of Litt which contained all the pathetic rules that Louis created from not touching his bran bars to not bad mouthing ballet in front of him.  
"Oh you seem to find this funny do you?" Louis questioned sarcastically flashing a smile that showed more teeth than necessary "Well in that case you can re-do all these files instead of just the one I was going to make you do because of Harvey's request to lay off you" Louis really must have been having a bad day Mike thought as Louis thrust the files at him. "Now I suggest you get your ass down to the file room and start pulling out the files from 1970".

Mike sighed as he made this way down to the file room. _This is gonna be fun_ he thought to himself.

* * *

Rachel made her down the corridor towards Mike's office only to frown upon seeing it empty. She pulled out her phone about to send a text to Mike but then decided it would be better if she were to call him. When she got no answer she decided to go to someone who always had an answer.

"Rachel what can I do for you?" Donna had just returned from the copy room after spending almost an hour fixing the fax machine for a line of first year associates desperately needing to use it and then having to photocopy over 300 pages for Louis.

"I was just wondering have you seen Mike anywhere?" Donna's head shot up at hearing Mike's name. She hadn't really heard or seen much of him since Harvey had told her about him she had a few times gone to check up on him in his office but decided not to pester him so much that he would feel like he was being treated differently now that he was ill.

"Sorry Rachel I've been down in the copy room for a while but I'm sure I heard Louis say something about getting him to redo some files you could ask him."

"Thanks Donna" Rachel turned and walked towards Louis's office where Louis sat speaking almost furiously into his Dictaphone. He paused upon seeing Rachel come in but didn't seem too pleased.

"Rachel what are you doing here?" She could tell by his voice he was agitated and was clearly not having a good day.

"I was urm ... do you know where Mike is?" Rachel was surprised at seeing Louis respond to this by giving a snort and then grinning the way he would when he wasn't very happy.

"It's funny you ask that actually I was wondering exactly the same thing. I mean it's been" Louis glanced down at his watch and frowned "46 minutes and 38 seconds since I sent him down to the file room and he still isn't back" At first Rachel didn't think much of it but then she almost stumbled back in horror as a ball of fear began to sprout in her stomach.

"You what?!"

"Look Rachel ... I know you two are ... whatever ... but you have to understand he really is slacking and I do not approve of slacking associates I mean -"

Before she knew it, she was practically running down the corridor and stopped abruptly reaching outside Harvey's office.

Harvey almost fell out of his seat as Rachel burst into his office looking pale as though she had just seen a ghost.

"Rachel is everythi-"

"Louis sent Mike down to the file room" Harvey looked slightly perplexed as though he didn't quite understand what the big deal was.

"The file room is full of dust and I spoke to his doctor this morning and he said that Mike should stay away from dust and that it could be dangerous and Harvey he's been down there for 40 minutes and he's not answering his phone and something's wrong" Harvey was up on his feet rummaging in his draw for the spare inhaler he had kept in there. The second he located it they were both practically running down the corridor looking pale as though they had seen ghosts - even though Harvey was doing his best to appear calm but he knew how dusty and stuffy it was in there - it would even get to him sometimes. Harvey suddenly wished the building wasn't so large.

* * *

The minute Mike had walked into the room he knew it wasn't a good idea for him to be in there but the last thing he wanted was to go back to Louis and tell him that he couldn't do what he had asked because the file room was too dusty. He could go to Harvey and tell him but he thought he would just man up and get the job done. After all how back could it be? But now he was sprawled across the floor half leaning against the wall having a severe coughing fit. It had started off moderately with small coughs and he had considered going up to his office to get his inhaler but decided against it hoping it would just wear off. But then it had excelled so quickly he hadn't even had the chance to give his inhaler a second thought. His throat felt clogged up and with every cough pain shot up his torso. And then his phone had begun to ring. The ringtone piercing through his ears almost deafening him as he tried to keep himself conscious. And of course, knowing his luck, his blazer was over 6 feet away on the table from when he had decided it was too hot to be wearing it. So now he was sitting - or lying - on the floor praying to whom or whatever was up there that he would be miraculously saved. It was his stupidity. Both Harvey and Rachel had told him to keep his inhaler with him at all times but he would always end up leaving it somewhere (not losing it - despite Harvey telling him that they were the same thing he refused to accept it). But he was paying for it now. His chest felt heaving and his wheezing was terrible and his throat was clearly clogged as he was becoming lightheaded which would usually happen when he didn't get enough oxygen. But now he was convinced this was it - unless something miraculous happened or someone ended up finding him there, there was no chance he was going to make it. God knows how long he could be lying there for and all he could think about was how upset Rachel and maybe Harvey - ok it was harsh to think Harvey wouldn't be upset - would be at finding him dead. And that was what he was thinking the second Harvey and Rachel burst through the door.

* * *

He looked terrible. His face was pale and there was sweat building up along his forehead. His eyes were fluttering and he was desperately yanking onto the collar of his shirt trying his hardest to breathe. His coughs weren't normal coughs. They were raspy and restricted as he was losing oxygen fast. It was the first time Rachel had seen him anything like this and she froze in horror as soon as she walked through the door - she was immensely grateful that Harvey was there as he went running to crouch beside Mike.

Harvey pulled the inhaler out of his pocket as he crouched down next to Mike who looked like his breathing would stop any minute now. He manhandled Mike into a sitting position so he was leaning against him and felt Mike grip tightly onto his sleeve as though a way of expressing his anguish. He brought the inhaler to Mike's mouth while trying his hardest to hide away his panic. The last thing all 3 of them wanted was for Harvey - who seemed to be the only calm-ish one in the room - to lose his calm and begin panicking like Rachel had. He didn't blame her, he was like that the first time he had seen Mike almost stop breathing. He squeezed on the inhaler praying that the medicine would take effect quickly - he didn't know how much longer he could keep his emotions under lock.

Mike was relieved when he felt the plastic being placed into his mouth and he was even more relieved when he felt the medicine in his throat and it began to slowly his up and no longer feel like there was something blocking it up. He looked up at Harvey who had a hard look in his eyes and Mike knew he was trying hard to suppress his fear. His whole weight was being supported by the older man who was almost cradling him as Mike was failing to sit upright. He felt another squirt of medicine shoot down his throat as Harvey pressed on the inhaler once again. The medicine was soothing and he felt his throat and lungs calm. Harvey removed the inhaler from his mouth at seeing it had made a difference. Mike widened his eyes taking long deep breaths in attempt to make up for the oxygen he had not been receiving. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back letting out small coughs and he heard Harvey sigh with relief as he loosened his grip on Mike letting him sit up on his own.

They had all stood/sat in silence while Mike regained his breathing pattern and stopped coughing altogether. Rachel finally managed to make her way and sat down next to him on the other side taking his hand in hers. Mike opened his eyes and looked over at her with a weak smile. He then looked over at Harvey who was smiling down at Mike but his eyes were full of concern.

"Hey you alright?" Harvey said.

"Never been better" Mike spoke quietly returning the smile and Harvey chuckled shaking his head.

He stood up buttoning his jacket and his smile disappeared and was replaced by a tightening of his jaw.

"I'll leave you two to it I have something I need to take care of" Harvey's face hardened and Mike knew the older man well enough to know he was extremely angry.

* * *

Harvey raged down the corridor anger fuming up inside of him. The only thing he could think of was Mike's face when they had walked into the file room and he dreaded to think what would have happened if Rachel hadn't decided to check on Mike when she did - and he could think of only one person to blame.

He walked straight past Donna ignoring her when she asked him if everything was okay and stormed into Louis's office.

"When I said lay off Mike Ross I meant it" Louis looked up startled to see a fuming Harvey towering over him.

"Harvey what I-"

"I thought I made it goddamn clear that I wanted you to leave him alone!" Louis looked up at Harvey eyes full of bewilderment wondering exactly what he had done to make the man this angry.

"Harvey I think you're forgetting I'm in charge of the associates and I can do whatever I want with them" Louis immediately regretted the words the second they left his mouth and he saw Harvey's expression suddenly become much worse than it was before as he drew a sharp breath.

"Louis you come anywhere near Mike again and I will beat the shit out of you" Harvey was breathing heavily as he glared hard at Louis resisting the urge to hit him. Louis swallowed hard as he peered up at Harvey with a hint of fear in his eyes and nodded slightly. With that, Harvey stormed out of the office the same way he had entered and went down to his own one to cool off. He knew he had been too harsh on Louis but the thought of anything happening to Mike was eating up at him and he had let his emotions become slightly out of control and had taken it all out on Louis. But he was glad Louis got the point and would definitely leave Mike alone now.

* * *

Mike was back up in his office working whilst everyone else was going home. Rachel had insisted he went home and rested after the file room incident but he had managed to convince her he was fine to work and she agreed as long as he took it easy. He hadn't seen Harvey after it had happened and had only received a text from him telling him to he wasn't to do any work for Louis anymore. He didn't mind of course – in fact he was really quite glad – but he knew Harvey must've really lost it at Louis and he couldn't help but to feel bad for the man who was oblivious as to why it was such a big issue. He rolled his sleeves up and undid his top button getting ready for a long night ahead of him.

"Hey" He looked up to see a beautiful looking Rachel standing in his doorway.

"Hey" He replied with a smile as she walked over to him.

"You sure you want to work late tonight?"

"I'm sure, and I'm also sure that I'll be fine"

"We could always go home and spend the night together instead" Rachel spoke softly in a flirtatious tone.

"As tempting as the offer is, I'm afraid I have to get this done" He stood up making his way towards Rachel. He leaned forward gently kissing her. "I'll see you at home" She smiled at him and made her way out of the office.

Half an hour later, almost everyone had gone home aside from a few other first year associates who were still working their asses off trying to make good impressions amongst the partners.

"You still here?" He looked up slightly startled as he saw Harvey had stopped outside his office whilst going past.

"Yeah just going through the files of the big case"

"We can work on that tomorrow why don't you go home and get some rest?" Mike warmed appreciating Harvey's request.

"No can do Harvey I've already been resting plenty this week I've barely got any work done"

"Well in that case why don't you come down to my office and we can work on the files together – you know get them done quicker" Mike's eyes widened as we chuckled in amazement.

"Wait you're offering to stay just for me?"

"Well no I was going to stay anyway"

"Yeah right is that why you were heading for the elevator"

"I was going to the bathroom"

"With your briefcase"

"Oh yes completely forgot to leave this in my office" Mike raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

"Come on we can order a pizza if you like"

"No way – with the cheese in the crust?" Harvey rolled his eyes but nodded with a smirk and Mike quickly stood from his seat and both men made their way towards Harvey's office.

About an hour later Mike looked over at Harvey who was stuffing his face with pizza

"I thought you needed to go to the bathroom?" Mike said smirking slightly.

* * *

Rachel found herself standing outside the door of the apartment 206. She took a deep breath and knocked on the door. A few moments later the door was swung open.

"Mike" Donna said and Rachel was certain she had come to the right person as she nodded at the red hair tearfully.

Donna let her friend in and they both sat on the couch holding a glass of red wine each.

"I'm so scared Donna I don't know if I can keep doing this" Rachel spoke through sobs as Donna rubbed her arm "The whole staying strong act is so hard when I can see him become so weak and ill in front of my eyes."

"Oh sweetie" Donna brought Rachel into a side embrace as Rachel let the tears slip down her face "It's all going to be okay"

As the days went by and Mike's radiotherapy sessions continued, Rachel could see he was becoming more and more weak and was showing no signs of improvement. She had made a promise to herself that she wouldn't become weak in front of Mike – she needed to be strong for him, to help him get through this but it was all becoming so hard, concealing her emotions and watching him suffer. And today had just made it worse after seeing him in the file room almost lifeless as he was struggling to breathe. She dreaded to think what would have happened if they had found him 5 minutes later – or not at all. If he was becoming this bad at just the beginning stages what would happen as the months went on – would he make it through the months? She quickly pushed the thought to the back of her mind and cursed herself for thinking like that.

* * *

 **thanks for readiinnggg :)))x**


	8. Chapter 8

**hi guys :) ok this is chapter 8 and im really really sorry i took time to post this but ive just been so busy with school c**

 **but yeh i hope you enjoy this chapter im trying my best to not make the characters too OOC and i managed to slip in a darvey scene at the end - cos really who doesnt love darvey ;)**

 **but keep your reviews coming they keep me motivated let me know what you think ill try my best to make the next chapter come quick**

 **ok hope you like it :)x**

* * *

 **CHAPTER 8**

The treatment wasn't helping. Mike just knew it. He wasn't getting any better – in fact he was getting worse. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to be feeling, but he was certain that it shouldn't be how he was feeling. It had been over a month since his treatment started, he had been going in 4 times a week making a total of 28 visits and he was getting sick of it. The treatment wasn't treating him very well. He was beginning to feel more and more exhausted and could barely make it through the day without dozing off or just having to sit back and relax for a long time. Harvey had noticed this too and had been taking it easy on Mike which as much as Mike should have appreciated it, he couldn't help but feel irritated at it. He wasn't irritated at Harvey – but more at himself. He hated the fact that he was managing only less than half the work load he would usually manage and he felt bad for Harvey who had to make up for it with his late nights – not that Harvey would complain or anything he would in fact just shrug it off and deny that it was because of Mike that he was having to stay late. Rachel was also getting concerned. She was constantly making sure he wasn't overworking and that he had gotten enough sleep. A few times she had even set his alarm forward so he wouldn't wake up early. The first time it happened he hadn't known it was her and was biting his nails throughout the taxi journey afraid of what Harvey would say at him turning up over 2 hours late to work but it turned out he was worrying for no reason as when he got to work Harvey was acting like nothing had happened and the only comment he pulled about Mike's lateness was "Glad you got some rest". It was only then he decided to call up Dr. Sylvester only to find out that tiredness and fatigue was a side effect of the treatment and it was only when he saw Rachel doing it when he found out that it was her messing with his alarm clock. His initial reaction was anger and she was certainly taken aback when she realised he wasn't asleep but had been awake. It had escalated into a heated argument with the two shouting in each other's faces but had ended with Mike coughing and gasping for breath and Rachel rubbing his back holding an oxygen mask over his mouth. He had felt bad then, he knew Rachel was doing it for Mike's own well.

He was now sitting in a meeting with Jessica, Harvey and a few other partners and was desperately struggling to keep his breathing intact. His throat was tickling and he desperately needed to cough but he knew once he started it would take him some time to stop and the last thing he wanted was to have a full on coughing fit in the middle of a meeting. He looked around at all the faces which were fixed onto what Jessica was saying – and of course Mike's mind was more fixed on trying not to cough rather than what was going on in the meeting. He hadn't wanted to be in the meeting, he was only there because of Harvey – because he was Harvey's associate and they were working on the big case along with other partners. The case was one of the biggest ones that had come in this year and it wasn't one they could afford to lose which is why they were having this meeting. He let out a few small coughs covering his mouth with his hand. It didn't help. He cleared his throat – still no help. His face was beginning to redden and his urge to let it all out was growing uncontrollably. It was only then when he felt Harvey's gaze rest on him. Harvey frowned slightly at his uncomfortable looking associate.

"Mike, can you run down to my office? I've left some of the files in there."

Mike's head shot up as he fixed his eyes on Harvey and nodded in relief. He quickly stood up without a word and raced out of the room before anyone could say another word. The journey between the conference room and Harvey's office was a quick one – the quicker he got there the quicker he could let it all out. He flung open the door and begun coughing violently, crouched over leaning on Harvey's desk. He could feel his face redden as his coughing continued regardless of how hard he tried to make it stop.

"Where's your inhaler?" He peered beside him to see Harvey standing next to him as he brutally coughed - he was so glad Harvey was there in time he could have hugged the man. He mumbled something about it being in his pocket and hopelessly shoved his hand in his jacket trying to locate it. It was after Harvey saw him struggling to locate the item when he decided to step in and put his hand in Mike's pocket. It didn't take him long to find the blue plastic object and he quickly handed it to Mike.

Mike bought the inhaler to his mouth and took a few puffs letting the medicine work its magic. Both men stood in silence as Mike took deep breaths composing himself.

"You alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine thanks – you urm ... thanks" Mike was more than glad that Harvey had realised something was wrong and sent Mike out.

"You don't need to thank me – I told you - I got your back" Said Harvey with a smile patting Mike on the back.

"You okay to go back now?" Mike nodded at his friend and they both turned back to head towards the door.

"Harvey" Harvey turned around to look at Mike who had stopped walking "I'm not getting any better" Harvey swallowed hard. He was somewhat aware of the fact as he couldn't see any signs of improvement himself. He had been noticing it for almost a week now he had thought surely there should have been some improvement by now.

"Mike just give it some time-"

"Harvey it's not working – the treatment – it's just making me feel worse"

Harvey sighed looking at the younger man who had angst written all over his face.

"When's your next session?"

"Today at 2"

"Well I'm coming with you and we'll discuss it with your doctor" Mike nodded looking uncertain "Hey don't worry about it – we're gonna get through this – I promise." Mike nodded at the reassuring words and brought a small smile to his face as he followed Harvey out of the office and back into the conference room.  
When they got back to the meeting, they pair received a nod from Jessica and Mike wondered if Jessica knew – not that it bothered him – she would find out sooner or later it's not like he would be able to work for much longer. Luckily nobody asked Harvey about the files and the meeting carried on as normal.

* * *

It was now nearing 2pm and Mike was in Rachel's office when Harvey walked in.

"You ready to go?"

Mike looked up and nodded at him and all 3 of them left the firm. They made their way outside where the car was already waiting for them and the 3 of them sat in with Harvey sitting at the front next to Ray.

When they got to the hospital they were greeted by a overly-jolly Dr. Sylvester.

"Mike, Rachel, Harvey - it's so great to see all 3 of you!" Harvey wondered how it was possible for someone to be this happy all the time. The man led them through the corridor to his office and pulled out and extra chair so all 3 of them could sit down.

"So Mike how have you been?"

"I've been good - well as good as one can be with cancer" Mike joked and earned a glare from Harvey.

"Well unless there is anything you'd like to say or ask me I think we should get on with today's radiation session"

Mike nodded and Harvey frowned and looked over at him wondering why he hadn't said anything.

"Actually James, Mike's told me the treatment isn't helping he said it's making him feel worse" Harvey spoke up still looking at Mike.

"Mike?" Questioned Dr. Sylvester in concern.

" I just ... I don't know I've just been feeling really bad" Mike looked down at his hands "I mean I know there are side effects but ... I just ... I'm not getting better I'm just getting worse I -" Mike swallowed down the lump on his throat and felt Rachel's hand rest on his rubbing it soothingly.

The doctor was quiet for a second before he spoke.

"Well here's what we'll do, we're gonna do some scans and find out what's going on - I was going to do these next week but we can do them now - and then we'll decide what's best from there is that okay Mike?"

Mike nodded at the man.

"If you'd like to follow me through then Mike and we'll get these scans done - it shouldn't take too long" with that the two of them left leaving Rachel and Harvey on their own.

Harvey looked over at Rachel who's eyes had become shiny and was constantly fidgeting with her hands.

"He's gonna be okay" Rachel looked up at Harvey slightly startled and nodded looking back down.

"Rachel" Harvey's voice was stern and it caused Rachel to look up at him "I mean it - he's going to get better"

"And what if he doesn't" Rachel's voice came out as a whisper but it was loud enough for Harvey to hear it.

"He will because I'm gonna make sure he does and I'm not leaving him with any other choice" Rachel nodded again "you just need to trust me on this - I'm not gonna let anything happen to him" Rachel swallowed hard and wiped at her cheeks before looking at Harvey and nodding again. Harvey nodded back at her in reassurance. Rachel knew that it wasn't in Harvey's control what would happen to Mike but she didn't say anything because she wanted to believe him.

The scans took around half an hour to be complete and now they were all back in the office.  
Dr. Sylvester rotated his screen for the three of them to see.

"Mike I'm afraid to say you were right. Unfortunately the radiotherapy hasn't made a difference and the tumours are growing" all 3 of them avoided making eye contact with each other "now usually we would continue until the treatment is complete just to see if it does eventually make a difference but I think we should stop and I would suggest resorting to chemotherapy".

Mike sat there quietly staring into space causing Harvey to step in.

"And what are the chances of that working"

"Well I'd say it's the best shot we have and if I were you I'd go for it"

"But will it get rid of the cancer or will it just help me live longer?" Both Harvey and Rachel stared at Mike with wide eyes. The doctor sighed.

"Like I said it's the best shot and there are chances of it getting rid of it completely only time will tell"

"And the side effects?"

"Well obviously the treatment is more severe so the side effects will be too" Mike's head filled with dread - the side effects would be worse than the ones he was just about dealing with now "common side effects can include nausea, vomiting, tiredness, nose bleeds, pain and of course as you may be aware, some people also suffer from hair loss" Mike nodded slowly and swallowed hard as he let out a breath "Mike" the doctor said softly "I don't mean to scare you I just want you to be aware of what we'll be going up against and it's completely up to you" Mike just nodded again.

"And what are the other options?" Said Harvey clearly startled by the side effects too.

"We could continue the radiotherapy although the chances with that are very slim as we can see it's not helping or" the doctor paused "don't get me wrong when I say this I'm not in favour of it, but some people decide to cherish the time they have without starting a treatment that will have a bad effect on their body. They decide they want to live their last days in as good health as they can and let nature take its toll" at this point Harvey was frantically shaking his head and Rachel's eyes were filling up again as she sat her face covered in horror.

"No" Harvey spoke whilst still shaking his head "no no no no no. We're not doing that. Absolutely not. We'll stick with the chemo"

"Harvey you have to realise it's not your choice to make" Said Dr. Sylvester.

All 3 of them turned to look at Mike who sat there looking blank.

"I need some time to think about it" he said when he finally spoke.

"Mike" Rachel voice shook as she looked at her fiancé slightly perplexed.

"Woah Mike you are not turning down this treatment" Harvey looked at the younger man in shock.

"I told you I need some time to think about it"

"What do you mean? What's there to think about?"

"I don't know if I want to carry on with any treatment" Mike said quietly.

"Mike you are not giving up"

"Harvey it's my choice and I told you I need time to think"

Harvey suddenly sprung up from his chair and pushing it back violently, he stormed out of the room.

Not long after Harvey's exit, Mike and Rachel made their way out of the clinic. To their surprise Ray was waiting for them outside which meant that Harvey had made his own way back. They sat in the car in silence, Rachel refusing to look at Mike.

"Don't tell me you're pissed at me too"

"Mike you're thinking about turning down a treatment that could save your life! Don't you get it this is your life on the line how could you even think about turning it down" Rachel spoke in desperation and was on the verge of tears.

"Rachel I know I just-"

"No Mike you don't know. I love you and I care about you and so does Harvey which is why we're pissed at you! And right now you seem to be ignoring that!"

"Rachel come on I-"

"No Mike" Rachel wiped the tears from her face and stepped out of the car which had stopped outside the firm.

Mike sighed and rubbed a hand down his face. He really didn't know what to do. He thanked Ray who gave him a sympathetic smile and wished him well and stepped out of the car.

* * *

He sat at his desk for about half an hour thinking about what he should do. He had done some research and he knew his chances were slim. Not many people survived lung cancer and he had no idea how and why he would beat the odds and survive it when thousands would die from it. He felt physically and emotionally sick right now. Just thinking about the cancer made him want to sit in a corner and cry and he just couldn't get his mind off it. He just felt lonelier than he had ever felt before. He was yearning for company and what made it worse was the 2 people he would usually go to were mad at him. He sat there for another 10 minutes, dragging his hands over and over through his disheveled hair, his eyes were sore from repeatedly rubbing them and a few tears had escaped them. He didn't know what was going on with him but it was just getting worse. He felt nausea building up inside of him and his head was spinning. He just felt alone and helpless and he finally decided he couldn't do it on his own he needed someone.

He walked down the corridor at a steady pace letting himself take small composed steps. He reached outside Rachel's office only to realise she wasn't in there. He finally made his way to Harvey's office and Gretchen just nodded at him in acknowledgment. He walked trying to act as normal as possible as the older man sat at his desk going through some files. Upon his arrival, Harvey looked up at Mike but didn't say anything. Mike walked further in and stood close to Harvey's desk.

"What you've come to tell me you're quitting the job as well?" The older man questioned sarcastically.

"Harvey please I-"

"You what? You need time to think about it? You need time to decide whether you want to do the treatment that could potentially save your goddamn life or whether you want to give up and just ... Just die?!" Harvey had stood up from his chair and was glaring at Mike.

"Harvey I don't think you're being fair" Mike wished Harvey would stop so he could just sit on the couch and drink some water. He was beginning to feel much worse.

"You know what's not fair? The fact that I put my arse out to get you this treatment at the best possible clinic! And you know what else isn't fair? The fact that we're here and we'd do anything to make you live but you don't seem to care - you're being selfish Mike and you are the one that's being unfair - not me"

Mike blinked at the words. It was the only response he could find. His head was spinning and he didn't know what was going on.

"Harvey I don't-" He choked out and Harvey's expression suddenly transformed from fuming to extremely concerned as he saw how pale the younger man had become as Mike swayed slightly.

"Mike" He placed a hand on his shoulder "Mike talk to me - are you okay?"

Mike swallowed hard and took in a deep breath.

"I just need to sit down" He said quietly and let Harvey lead him to the couch.

"Mike what's going on?" Harvey was growing more and more concerned as Mike slumped on the couch with his head back "I need you to tell me what's wrong Mike"

"I'm fine – I just – can I have some water?" His eyes flickered as Harvey reached out to pour him a glass of water. He handed it to him and Mike slowly drank it and sat back again as Harvey took the glass back.

"Mike?"

"I'm fine. I just need to sit back for a while" Harvey nodded and sat on the seat near him.

About 10 minutes later, Mike decided he was well enough to get up and make his way back to his own office. He stood up and turned to the door before being pushed back down by Harvey.

"Woah where do you think you're going?" Harvey asked.

"Urm ... Back to my office ..."

"No you're not. Just sit back down and relax there's no need to start working so soon"

"Look Harvey I'm fine now I don't need to sit down anymore"

"Well do you want to tell me what just happened?"

"Nothing I just didn't feel very well"

"Is that why you came in here?" Harvey questioned. Mike paused and looked down at his feet unsure of what to say.

"Mike is that why you came in here?" Harvey repeated.

"No I just - I just need to go ok"

"Mike you wouldn't have come in here for no reason after - after what happened"

"I just - I wasn't feeling good and I just needed some company - someone to be around - but I'm fine now I can go back" he stood up again but this time it wasn't Harvey who pushed him back down, it was the wave of dizziness.

"You okay?"

Mike nodded not making eye contact with the other man.

"Mike" He got no response "Mike look I'm - I'm sorry for snapping at you" Mike looked up with raised eyebrows at Harvey's apology.

Mike paused and looked at Harvey for a while before speaking and letting it all out.

"35%"

"What?" Harvey asked in confusion.

"My survival rate with the treatment" Harvey's eyes widened in shock.

"Mike how do you-"

"I spoke to Dr. Sylvester when I was getting the scans done" Mike shook his head and dragged a hand through his hair before speaking again "You said I'm selfish; you're talking as if I want to die! Harvey I wake up every morning knowing that today could be my last day. You think I wouldn't get every treatment in the world done if I knew it was going to make me better and - and stop me from dying?! And what if the treatment doesn't work? Then the side effects just take over my life and I spend the time that I do have in pain living miserably. Harvey I would give anything and everything to get rid of this stupid disease, to live the normal life I used to" Mikes eyes began to well up as he choked out the words "I don't want to die Harvey, I really don't!"

Harvey shook his head slowly and sighed sitting down next to the younger man and placing his hand on his shoulder.

"Mike you need time - you take as much as time as you need. And whatever decision you make, we'll all be with you every step of the way - you're not in this alone" Harvey squeezed Mikes shoulder as he looked up at him with teary eyes and nodded.

* * *

The rest of the day was spent with Mike working in Harvey's office but neither of them saying much.

It was approaching 10pm when Mike realised how tired he was and he desperately needed his bed. However, he decided to ignore it and carry on working - he was trying is best to stick to his previous lifestyle as possible and didn't want to seem weak. Unfortunately (or fortunately) for him, Harvey had noticed this as well - mainly due to Mikes endless yawns and the fact that he had seen him dose off a few times for about 10 seconds.

"Mike go home" Mike looked up at Harvey and shook his head.

"I'm fine I need to do this"

"Mike you look like you haven't slept in about 3 years. Go home" Mike looked down at his hands and thought for a while "Now" Harvey said in a stern voice causing Mike to sit up and gather up the files.

"Get some rest" Harvey said as Mike said bye and turned to leave.

He walked over to Rachel's office only to find she had left already. He sighed to himself. She was still pissed at him. He hailed a cab and spent the whole journey home with his head against the window and his eyes filled with tears that were threatening to fall out but he wouldn't allow them to do so. He paid the driver and walked up to his apartment fumbling in his pockets for his keys. He found them and unlocked the door. He took a step back and frowned at seeing the lights were dim. He walked further in and a small smile grew on his face as he saw Rachel sitting at the table with a candle lit dinner. She stood up and made her way towards him as he put his bag on the floor and took off his jacket.

"Hey" she said softly.

"Hey" he replied in the same tone "what's all this?"

"I just wanted to tell you how sorry I was for getting mad at you today" her voice was filled with sincerity "we should have talked about it properly"

"We should have" he nodded and stroked a strand of hair away from her face and planted a kiss on her lips. "But right now I'm starving"

Rachel let out a small laugh and hey both made their way over to the table.

After dinner he explained everything to her - but what he didn't tell her was his survival rate.

* * *

Harvey sat back in his chair and sighed. It had been a long day and he couldn't get his mind off Mike. He couldn't stand the thought of Mike choosing to die – how could even think like that?! Yes he had told Mike that we would back him with whatever decision he made but he had just said that because he had to. He wanted more than ever to make sure Mike had the treatment done. He had made a promise to both himself and to Rachel that he would make sure Mike got better and the last thing he wanted was for his promise to be broken. He brought a hand through his hair and sighed once again.

"Bad day?" He looked up and smiled to see Donna standing in the doorway smiling at him with sympathy – as much as he would have despised being sympathised towards, he felt as though he needed it right now.

"You don't even know the half of it" He scoffed.

"Well, fill me in then." She walked forward towards his desk and sat down on the chair.

"Mike" Harvey shook his head and Donna frowned in concern "He doesn't want to get his treatment done"

"Why on earth would he want that?" Donna asked clear bewildered.

"He doesn't know if it will work ... and the side effects and-"

"He wants to cherish the time he has" Donna interrupted and Harvey nodded.

"but I don't understand why I'm getting him the best treatment there is" Harvey rubbed a hand over his face and shook his head again.

"Harvey what are his chances?" It was a question Harvey didn't want to answer and Donna didn't want to hear the answer to.

"35%" Harvey swallowed hard. How he despised that number.

"And what are the side effects?" Donna spoke in a whisper he voice cracking slightly.

"I don't know – sickness, weakness, hair loss, tiredness and the list goes on" Harvey looked down at his hands.

"Harvey – but what if the treatment doesn't work? And he will suffer through his last days and as much as I'm with you I understand where he's coming from. If he wants to live his last days-"

"Donna please" Harvey's voice strained desperate for her to not touch the matter - he couldn't stand the thought of Mike dying.

"Harvey, this is tough for all of us. But you have to think about Mike – would you rather see him suffer through his last days or cherish them and live them to the fullest?" Donna's eyes began to well up – and so did Harvey's.

"I don't want him to die Donna. I can't – I don't know what I'd do" Harvey croaked not meeting her eyes.

Donna stood from her chair and walked over to him.

"Come here" She whispered opening her arms slightly.

Harvey stood from his chair and went to stand in front of Donna before walking into her arms. His arms wrapped tightly around her body as he grasped onto her for help – for strength. He let his guard down, it was his moment of vulnerability – but he didn't care, because it was Donna. Donna who had been with him through thick and thin. Donna who knew him better than anyone else possible could. Donna who had stuck by his side for 12 years. 12 whole years. 12 years he wished would go on forever. He took in her scent and let her rub her hands down his back as she sobbed slightly into him. He didn't cry – as much as he needed to, he didn't. The tears were there but they wouldn't fall out. Instead he just screwed his eyes shut and cherished the much needed moment.

* * *

 **thanks for reading :)**

 **\- wrxppedup**


	9. Chapter 9

**ok guysss its chapter 9**

 **sorry this took so long i got a few people asking if i had stopped with this but no i havent i was just v busy with school and everything and i wasnt sure how many people were still interested**

 **im also taking prompts so drop a review on my A/N would love to hear them**

 **my life right now is counting down till the 27th of jan haha**

 **i hope harveys not too ooc i just think he's kinda gotta be bc of the situation theres not much suppressing his emotions for him anymore cos mikes conditions got worse and its v serious**

 **but i hope you like this let me know what you think feel free to drop a review :))**

 **enjoyyy**

* * *

 **CHAPTER 9**

It had been a long night for all 4 of them; Mike, Harvey, Rachel and Donna who had also been torn by the news despite her understanding of Mike's views. Mike for one had gotten almost no sleep at all – he was constantly tossing and turning and there was only that one figure eating up at him – 35%. The chance of him making it through the treatment was 35% and if it wasn't successful, well that was it for him. Mike was also unaware that Rachel hadn't slept much through the night either. She had her back turned to him the whole night and was sobbing silently as the thought of losing the man she loved with all her heart was just too much to take. Harvey had gone home and had a few more glasses of scotch before attempting to sleep. He had woken 3 times during the night and found increasingly difficult to fall back asleep afterwards.

Mike stumbled out of bed coughing and made his way into the bathroom. He had made his decision – it was final. He had more than enough time to think about it all through the night and it was finalised now.

Rachel had already left for law school so Mike hailed himself a taxi and spent the whole journey thinking about how Harvey would react to the news.

* * *

Harvey sat in his chair and rubbed at his eyes. It had been a long night and he was still tired and not mentally prepared for all the work he had ahead of him. He chuckled to himself as he thought of the root of his worries. _Mike_. Mike who he never would have imagined would have had this much of an impact on his life. Mike had actually changed him – and he as much as he hated to admit it, made him into a better man. His thoughts were interrupted as he looked up to see Mike lingering in his office.

"Morning Mike" Harvey acknowledged the younger man.

"Morning" Mike replied "so are you busy?"

"Not particularly why?" Harvey looked down at the files on his desk that he had been looking through but not actually taking in.

"I just urm ..." Mike hesitated slightly causing Harvey to raise his eyebrows "I just have an appointment booked ... you know my first chemo session and you know I was just wondering if you'd like to come – I mean you don't have to its just Rachel's at law school but if you have work to do then it's ok cos it will be long and I-"

"Mike" Harvey interrupted standing from his seat and making his way over to where Mike stood "I'm coming" Harvey said with a genuine smile causing Mike to smile back although Mike's smile was more of a sad smile than anything as he looked at his feet. Harvey noticed this and placed a hand on Mike's shoulder.

"I'm proud of you" He said squeezing Mike shoulder. Mike raised his eyebrows at him in disbelief and received a nod of confirmation from Harvey.

Mike had decided he was better off fighting then not trying at all. He thought he owed that much to Rachel and Harvey. Losing hope wasn't the best way to go about and he had to bring out some determination and believe he could get better rather than not attempting the treatment at all.

* * *

When they arrived at the clinic, they were greeted by Dr. Sylvester with his usual bright expression.

He led them through to his office and all 3 mean took their seats at his desk.

"Okay Mike so you've obviously made your decision so I'm going to talk you through the procedure just to make sure you know everything you need to know" Mike nodded in confirmation causing the doctor to carry on speaking.

"I'm going to be blatantly honest with you because I believe it's only right that I am. I've examined yesterday's scans some more and had a look and the closer images and it's clear that your tumour has spread significantly – which is why we had to stop with the radiotherapy." Mike swallowed hard but sat very composed "The chemo is going to be a more intense procedure and I've written out your treatment plan. Because your cancer is slightly vigorous, I have increased the strength of the treatment. Now obviously this will mean increased side effects but unfortunately we have to deal with it. I want you coming in 4 days a week and it's going to be tough but it's our best shot and I'm determined to make it work. Are you with me?" Mike nodded looking over at Harvey who looked back at the younger man and nodded as well.

Within half an hour later, Mike was seated in a comfortable chair and was hooked onto a drip.

"Okay Mike I'm gonna leave you two your about 2 hours I'll come up and check on you every now and then but let me know if you need anything" The doctor readjusted Mike's drip and stepped back "But most importantly just relax and let it do its job" And with that, the doctor gave Mike a small smile and Mike returned it before leaving to walk down the corridor.

Both men sat in silence for about 10 minutes.

"How do you feel?" Harvey asked from his seat.

Mike opened his eyes before speaking "I feel okay – just a bit drowsy and kind of tired"

"You know you are allowed to sleep" Mike nodded closing his eyes.

"Harvey" Mike spoke again 15 minutes later.

"Yup" Harvey looked up from his phone surprised that Mike wasn't asleep.

"You can leave if you like – 2 hours is a long time I'll be-"

"Shut up"

"Okay"

"Go to sleep"

"Mmhmm"

Mike was awoken another 1 and a half hours later by Dr. Sylvester shaking him gently.

"Mike"

"Hmmm" Mike opened his eyes wearily. Everything was blurry and his eyes were taking time to focus as he blinked his vision right.

"How are you feeling?"

"M'kay" Mike spoke with his voice slurred "Tired".

"It's completely normal for him to be tired" The doctor spoke this time addressing Harvey. "He'll probably be like this for the rest of the day – really fatigued and worn out. He should rest as much as he can but look over him because his body isn't quite used to the new treatment yet and there may be some side effects today"

"What can we expect?" Harvey questioned, concern sliding into his voice.

"Mostly tiredness but there may be some vomiting and dizziness. Just stay with him and make sure he takes his tablets and stays hydrated – but most importantly he needs rest"

Harvey shook Mike once more waking him from the sleep he had once again slipped in to.

"Up ya get sleeping beauty" Mike scoffed at Harvey's remark while rubbing at his eyes.

Mike stood slowly from his seat rubbing at his arm on which the drip had been attached. He swayed slightly as he was hit by a sudden wave of dizziness but was quickly steadied by Harvey grabbing his elbow.

"Easy" Harvey said "You okay?" Mike nodded and Harvey released his grip. They both left the clinic and went and sat in the car that was waiting for them outside.

"I'm dropping you home" Harvey said looking through his emails on his phone to check if he had missed anything.

"What?" Mike turned to face Harvey "No I'm fine I can go back to work"

"No you can't we both know you're tired and the doctor said you need to rest"

"Look Harvey honestly I'll be fine"

"No Mike I'm dropping you home and –" Harvey paused "What time does Rachel get back?"

"Not until after 5 why?"

"Nothing you can rest in my office" Harvey said remembering there needed to be someone looking after Mike.

"Well that was easy" Mike scoffed.

They pulled up outside of the firm and both men stepped out for the car making their way inside the firm.

Mike was feeling extremely tired and fatigued and he wanted more than anything just to sit down and rest. They approached Mike's office and he made a move to go inside but was stopped by Harvey grabbing his arm.

"Woah where do you think you're going?"

"Into my office?" Mike said in slight confusion shrugging off Harvey's arm.

"Mike you've just had your first chemo session I don't think it's a good idea you start working again straight away you need to rest"

"Look I'm fine Harvey just let me go" Mike said beginning to get irritated at being told what to do. He wasn't in the mood to talk or argue he just wanted to go and sit down.

"You can come down to my office and rest a bit just crash out on the couch and that way I can watch over you" Harvey bit his tongue – he hadn't meant for that last part to come out.

"Harvey just stop it you don't need to be fussing over me all the time I said I'm fine you don't need to act like my mum I can look after myself I think you'll find I'm perfectly capable of it!" Mike snapped at the older man raising his voice – perhaps too loud as he found other people staring their way raising their eyebrows having heard what he was saying.

Harvey pursed his lips but just nodded turning at making his way to his own office.

* * *

Mike gripped onto the sink breathing heavily. He rinsed his mouth in attempt to get rid of the taste of vomit. He splashed some water onto his face and took deeper breaths trying to regain his breathing. His chest was hurting unbearably and he felt slightly dizzy.

He hadn't meant to shout at Harvey. He was just tired and the events were just getting to him and he let them get to him too much and took the frustration out on Harvey. He hadn't liked what Harvey said about watching over him – yes he was ill but he was a capable adult. Although now he was standing there panting he understood what Harvey meant as he could really do with someone with him right now and he realised there was only one solution.

* * *

Harvey looked up from his desk to see Mike standing at his doorway. He glanced up at the pale looking man who had beads of sweat across his forehead and looked terrible but then looked back down at his files.

"I'm sorry" Mike finally spoke.

Harvey glanced up at him once more raising an eyebrow and looked back down at his files again.

"I didn't mean what I said – I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. I really am sorry" Mike cleared his throat slightly as he shuffled awkwardly at receiving no response from Harvey.

Harvey looked up at him again and gestured towards the coach. Mike gratefully made his way to the couch and threw himself down.

Harvey stood and made his way to the other side of his desk.

"How are you feeling?" Harvey spoke for the first time.

"I'm fine" Mike lied.

"Did you just throw up?"

Mike hesitated for a moment but then nodded.

"Why don't you lie down for a bit" Harvey said throwing him a blanket.

Mike nodded catching the blanket and lied down on the couch pressing tightly onto his chest.

Half an hour later Harvey saw Mike was still tossing and turning. He made his way over to the couch and stood by Mike.

"Mike" Harvey called out and received a groan for an answer.

"What's wrong?" Harvey asked concern edging into his voice.

Mike turned to face him and Harvey bit back a curse as he saw how much worse the man looked. Mike's eyes were red and he was extremely pale. His forehead was damp and his breaths were raspy.

"Have you taken your meds?"

Mike shook his head.

"Where are they?"

"In my bag" Mike croaked out.

Harvey left the office but returned not long after with Mike's pills. He helped the younger man up and passed him a pill followed by a glass of water. He kept a supportive hand on Mike's shoulder and laid him back down. Harvey cursed inwardly at himself for not asking Mike sooner whether he had taken his medicine – he had still been thinking about what Mike had said to him and didn't want to pester the younger man but then realised he should have.

Although it took some time, Mike finally fell asleep and Harvey shook his head and carried on with his work.

* * *

The rest of the week was slightly better. The biggest problem was the tiredness Mike felt after each session but Harvey always made him go home and rest. The week after that went smoothly as well. Harvey, Rachel and Donna were all making sure he had taken his medication and was feeling okay. As much as he wished everything could go back to how it used to be and they wouldn't be treating him so differently all the time, he knew it was inevitable and discovered it was easier if he were just to view it positively and be grateful for their support. The treatment was taking its toll on Mike's health but it wasn't anything too drastic – that was until exactly 2 weeks after his treatment first started.

Mike was sitting on Harvey's couch flicking through some files. He had insisted that Harvey should give him more work as he didn't want to be completely useless now that he couldn't manage the workload he could before. The case they were working on was an extremely important one and they were so close to winning it all they needed was that one last bit of evidence and Mike and Harvey were both going out of their minds desperately trying to look for it.

Mike brought get another hand through his hair. All of a sudden he looked down at his hand only to find he had taken a lock with him. He sat there his eyes filled with horror at the sight before him. His hair had fallen out. He actually had a whole chunk of the hair from his head in his hand right now. He swallowed hard finding It painful to do so. He felt tears forming in his eyes as the shock subsided and realisation hit him. He knew it would come to this – he just didn't know it would be think soon, he wasn't ready for it. He had also hoped maybe he would get luck – maybe it would happen to him. But it wasn't just a few strands, it was a whole chunk. He had actually pulled out a whole chunk of his hair.

"Hey have you-" Harvey walked into the room only to stop and soon he felt the same feeling of shock and horror Mike had been feeling. He looked down at Mike's hand and then back at his face which was wearing a horrified expression. Their eyes met, both wide with shock. Mike blinked up the tears and stood from his seat racing past Harvey out of the office.

Harvey stood hands trembling by his side. His mind was still trying to register what he had just seen. He didn't know what to do or how to feel. He swallowed hard and let out a breath. Closing his eyes he dragged a hand over his face. He knew he should go after Mike but he felt as if all the energy had been drained out of him and his legs wouldn't work. He was trying to think of all the places Mike could go to – if Donna was here she would know. He suddenly felt so helpless and terrified. Mike was holding a whole chunk of his hair. He thought maybe it wouldn't come for this with Mike and had pretty much forgotten about it. He felt physically sick and then realised Mike must be feeling so much worse than he was. He had to find him.

Harvey made his way to the bathroom, the only place he could think of to go. He was walking fast and everything was a blur – he needed to find Mike. He reached the toilets and swung the door open only to freeze right where he was.

Mike was hunched over the sing recovering from a brutal coughing fit. He had tears running down his cheeks and was shaking uncontrollably. But what shocked Harvey the most was the blood in the sink that was coming out of Mike's mouth.

Mike wiped at his mouth in attempt to get rid of the blood. There were no words that could put into account how he was feeling. The pain in his chest was excruciating and his throat was extremely rough and sore. But the physical pain was no way near as bad as the emotional pain was. He was distraught to say the least. The tears wouldn't stop but he didn't care. He was numb from the pain and for the first time since he had the cancer – he genuinely felt like he was dying. He could sense his body wasting away – the pain, the soreness, the blood and now to top it all off, his hair coming off.

Harvey locked the bathroom door and walked further in so he was standing near Mike. His mouth was still slightly ajar and he didn't dare take a second glance at the sink. He shook his head slightly unsure of what to say or what to do while Mike leant with one hand on the sink and breathed hard with tears running down his face.

"Mike" He began in a sympathetic tone shaking his head slightly.

"..I'm dying Harvey" Mike croaked out.

And that was all it took for Harvey to reach forward and bring Mike into a tight embrace.

Mike buried his face in Harvey's shoulder and began sobbing Harder. His body shook as the tears fell rapidly. Harvey tightened his grip around the man he considered his brother and tightened his eyes as a tear slipped down. Mike had been deteriorating right in front of his eyes but he hadn't wanted to admit it to himself – he didn't want to face reality - but now he had no choice. There was no hiding away from the fact that the cancer was eating Mike up, it was destroying him day by day and there was only a certain extent to which they could do anything about it and despite everything they were doing, he was still getting worse.

Harvey couldn't lose him. He just couldn't.

The hug lasted some time before Mike pulled away wiping at his face. Harvey wiped a tear off his own face not caring that Mike would see him cry. There was no hiding his emotions now. It was all laid out in front of them and there was no running away from reality. He kept a firm hand on Mike's shoulder and opened the tap to wash the blood down.

"Let's take you home" Harvey said quietly before squeezing Mike's shoulder. Mike nodded at the older man and they both walked out of the toilets and then out of the firm.

When they got to Harvey's place, neither of them said much. Harvey made Mike take his pills and gave him a hot water bottle to help ease the pain before giving his some blankets and pillows so he could sleep on the couch. Harvey texted Rachel - who he knew was at law school studying late for an exam she had – letting her know where Mike was.

Mike lay down on the couch pressing the hot water bottle to his chest where it was extremely soothing. He still felt terrible but thought the only way to get rid of his feelings temporarily was too sleep and escape reality.

Harvey sat on a chair with a glass of scotch and brought a hand through his hair. He looked over at Mike who was fast asleep clutching the hot water bottle and looking genuinely ill.

* * *

 **thanks for reading guys**

 **let me know what you think :)))**


	10. Chapter 10

**hi guys**

 **ok im really really sorry this took so long i just started writing other stuff and then i got really busy with school so im really really sorry**

 **thanks for reading and thanks for all your reviews and everything - they mean alot :))**

 **the 27th is growing nearer and i honestly cant wait - especially since the promo pics have been release**

 **anyway** **i really hope you like this - let me know what you thinkkk:)**

* * *

 _end of chapter 9:_

 _"Let's take you home" Harvey said quietly before squeezing Mike's shoulder. Mike nodded at the older man and they both walked out of the toilets and then out of the firm._

 _When they got to Harvey's place, neither of them said much. Harvey made Mike take his pills and gave him a hot water bottle to help ease the pain before giving his some blankets and pillows so he could sleep on the couch. Harvey texted Rachel - who he knew was at law school studying late for an exam she had – letting her know where Mike was._

 _Mike lay down on the couch pressing the hot water bottle to his chest where it was extremely soothing. He still felt terrible but thought the only way to get rid of his feelings temporarily was too sleep and escape reality._

 _Harvey sat on a chair with a glass of scotch and brought a hand through his hair. He looked over at Mike who was fast asleep clutching the hot water bottle and looking genuinely ill._

 **CHAPTER 10**

The chemo carried on, and he began to feel worse as time went on. It was a week after it first happened, when he lost another chunk of hair – and from then it kept happening. It wasn't always a lot. Sometimes it would be a small chunk and sometimes large ones. He began styling his hair differently to try and cover up the patches; but he knew one day, there wouldn't be much he could do when it was all gone – it was inevitable.

The treatment was making him incredibly drowsy and he found that most of his time was spent resting and he was beginning to spend less and less time actually working.

Rachel was trying her best to make him feel better and in front of her he would plaster on a smile and a brave face but deep down he was dying. He knew she was trying to stay strong too and he knew how hard it was for her. Harvey too had been trying to help. Mike couldn't be more grateful to have a friend and a boss like Harvey, the older man had done so much for him. He knew this whole cancer thing had really affected Harvey but when he had seen tears in his eyes the other day, it really got to Mike. Never did he think he would ever see Harvey Specter cry but Mike realised that Harvey must've been holding it in for a long time and although the older man created a tough facade and acted as though he didn't care, Harvey had a heart of gold and he cared about the people around him.

He hadn't talked to Rachel about his hair falling out and the matter wasn't brought up when he was with Harvey either. Rachel had noticed but hadn't commented on it and Mike preferred it that way.

He had been completely knocked out that day. He had woken up and found himself on Harvey's couch; it had taken him a good few seconds to figure out where he was and what had happened. Rachel had picked him up that night when she came back from law school.

It had been almost 2 weeks now, after it first happened. He was sitting in his office trying to do some work. He wasn't feeling great but he was used to it now. His chest pains were constantly there lingering no matter what he was doing. His body had become very weak now and it was almost as if he was living a new life.

He was attempting to get through some files but it was proving harder than he expected. The case was a more complicated one and the fact that he didn't feel well didn't exactly make the situation any better.

He got up from his desk and made his way down to the file room from where he needed to retrieve some files for the case.

His mind suddenly flashed back to what had happened in the file room when he almost died had it not been for Rachel and Harvey arriving there on time. It was up there in his worst experiences ever – not quite at the top his parents' death ranked number 1. Harvey also ensured that Mike had his inhaler and oxygen mask with him at all times so he kept them in the inside of his jacket pocket.

He turned the corner and bumped into someone. He looked up to see Harvey.

"Easy, where you going?" Harvey asked.

"Just down to the file room" Mike responded coughing slightly.

Harvey stood for a second thinking to himself before he spoke.

"Tell me what you need and go back to your office I'll get you the files"

"Harvey it's fine honestly I'll be okay" Mike said denying the offer but feeling grateful.

"Mike it wasn't a question"

"Look Harvey I have my inhaler and my mask if I don't feel well I'll come back up I'm not gonna be there for long and if" He put extra emphasis on the 'if' "If anything happens I will call you – I'm not gonna be down there for long."

Harvey considered what Mike said before nodding.

"Fine" He finally said "But make sure you're careful"

"I will" He said smiling at the older man before carrying on down the corridor.

He walked into the file room and strolled down to the aisle where the files he needed were. He walked over to see Louis was there too looking through boxes.

He gave the man a small smile which was returned before turning to take some boxes off the shelf.

It was still somewhat awkward with Louis who was trying to stay away from Mike ever since Harvey spoke to him. He felt bad though as Louis and he had previously got along well.

He took the box he needed off the shelf and put it onto the floor. The files were relatively old and Mike guessed they hadn't been opened for an extremely long time.

He took off the lid only to be hit with a load of dust. He quickly brought a hand up to cover his mouth but was too late as he had already inhaled some of it. He began coughing slightly and Louis turned around to shoot Mike a concerned glance. It was only when the coughing grew worse and Mike was leaning heavily against the shelves when Louis crouched down beside him.

"Mike?" He asked unable to hide the worry. "Mike are you alright?"

Mike reached into his pocket and fumbled around for his inhaler. He located it and brought it up to his lips and pressed down a few times. He took a few deep breaths before composing himself and standing back up. _Well that could've been worse_ Mike thought to himself as he wiped a hand across his mouth.

Louis stood up as well and looked extremely perplexed.

"Mike are you okay?" He asked frowning at the inhaler – he didn't know Mike had asthma.

"I'm fine Louis" Mike replied hastily "Thanks" He really didn't want to be giving any explanations.

"Mike ... the inhaler I didn't know you had asthma" Louis clearly wanted more than 'I'm fine'.

"Yeah I urm no I don't have asthma" Mike quickly gathered up the files he needed.

"Well then what was that about ... that wasn't normal coughing Mike and you have an inhaler I-"

"It's nothing Louis really" He turned and began to make his way out before being stopped by a hand grabbing onto his arm.

He looked up at Louis and then back at his hand but Louis didn't remove it.

"What's going on?" Louis asked.

"Nothing Louis" Mike replied attempting to free his arm.

"No don't give me that Mike! You've been acting of for the past month now there's something you're hiding from me! I send you to get some files and Harvey bites my head off about it as if it's a matter of life and death!"

"Well maybe that's because it is a matter of life and death!" Mike yelled out pulling his arm out of the grip and storming off.

He got to the door but was stopped by Louis once again who had come around the other side and was now stood in front of him.

"What the hell Mike you can't just drop that bomb on me and walk away!" Mike looked at Louis who was breathing heavily through his nose and Mike could easily see he was genuinely concerned.

"I have cancer" Mike said. It came out almost as a mutter and as soon as he said it he swallowed and looked away from Louis unable to meet his eyes.

"What?" Louis asked genuinely confused.

"I have cancer" Mike repeated focusing his attention on the trash can in the corner of the room. It needed emptying he noted.

"Mike is this a joke I-" Louis chuckled out shaking his head.

"No it's urm not ... I have cancer – lung cancer"

They soon found themselves sitting on the floor leaning against the wall with their legs out in front of them.

"So I'm guessing this is related to when Harvey yelled at me"

"When you sent me down to the file room all the dust got to me and it was stuffy and I couldn't breathe" Mike suddenly felt guilty at seeing Louis's horrified expression "And then luckily Harvey and Rachel came down in time – I guess he was just kinda pissed off at you for sending me down here"

"Mike ... I ... I'm so sorry-" Louis said, speechless.

"It's fine Louis honestly, you didn't know"

They sat there for about 10 more minutes before Mike's phone beeped.

It was a text from Harvey asking if he was okay.

He quickly replied back to the text and looked down at his watch realising he had been down for quite some time which is probably why Harvey was checking up on him.

"He just wanted to know if I was okay" Mike told Louis who had seen Harvey's name appear on Mike's screen.

Louis smiled at this before standing up and offering Mike a hand. Mike took it and stood up before shaking Louis's hand.

"You know if you need anything you can always come to me" Louis said with a nod.

"Thanks Louis" Mike said and made his way out of the file room and back up to his office.

* * *

Mike walked into his office to see Harvey sitting at his desk.

"There you are. I was just about to send out a search party" Harvey said spinning on the chair slightly.

"What I texted you" Mike replied sitting on the chair on the other side of his desk.

"After 4 hours of being down there"

"4 hours-" Mike was just about to protest before being interrupted by Harvey.

"Yeah whatever now you wanna come with me to court I have a meeting with Judge Hopkins about the Henwood case."

"Sure lets go" They both got up and left the office and headed out to where Ray was waiting for them.

* * *

"No way!" Mike laughed as they walked out from the courtroom "He actually said that?!"

"yep and you should've seen the other guys face" Harvey replied also laughing as they approached the car.

"Hey you wanna go grab something to eat?" Harvey said to Mike as they sat in the car.

"Yeah sure I'm starving"

"Just don't throw it up this time" Harvey joked.

"I'll try my best" Mike replied smirking. He realised he had missed this; they light hearted banter they used to have that had suddenly stopped after the cancer. He just wished more than ever that things could go back to the way they were.

* * *

They stopped at a posh Italian restaurant. Had it been 2 years ago, Mike would have laughed at Harvey and been slightly hesitant to eat in such a high class place, but it was beginning to become normal now.

They went inside and sat down at the table. They were given menus and a glass of wine.

"Alright how long would it take you to memorise that?" Harvey asked with a smirk, gesturing towards the menu.

"I could do it within 15 seconds" Mike said sitting back and smiling.

"No you couldn't"

"I could. You wanna bet?"

"That includes the prices" Harvey said slamming a $50 bill onto the table.

Mike chuckled before nodding again and taking out his own 50 "I could do it"

"Alright well I'll time you"

"Okay"

Harvey took the menu from Mike so he couldn't see it before the time started.

"3 ... 2 ... 1 ... go" He said – quietly so nobody would hear him – and passed Mike the menu.

He watched as Mike's eyes darted across the menu and then onto the other side before slamming a hand onto the table and saying "Stop"

"What no! That can't have been 15 seconds" Mike moaned but nonetheless put the menu down.

"It was" Harvey replied smirking "I think you'll find my timing skills are on point. Now go on" Harvey instructed as he picked up the menu.

Mike began repeating everything and to Harvey's surprise – or not really to his surprise, it's not like he didn't know about the kid's freakish memory – he got everything right.

"I got it didn't I" Mike said with a grin.

Harvey didn't say anything, he just smirked which caused Mike hold his fist up in victory and take the money which was on the middle of the table.

"Can I take your order?" They both looked up at the waitress who was no doubt checking Harvey out.

They told her what they wanted and carried on talking. The food arrived quickly and Mike breathed in the aroma causing Harvey to chuckle.

"You look like you haven't eaten in days" Harvey said with a scoff.

Mike just smiled slightly at this. Harvey suddenly looked back up at him.

"Mike" Harvey asked his tone suddenly becoming extremely serious "Have you been eating properly?"

"Well it depends what you mean by properly I-"

"Mike just give me an answer you know what I mean"

"I've just not been in the mood lately" It was true. He would wake up in the mornings feeling extremely nauseous and during the day he would focus on working as hard as he could, it wasn't often that he had a proper meal.

"Mike you need to be eating regardless of your mood" Mike noticed how Harvey's jaw tightened and how he swallowed harder than usual.

"I know" He said quietly.

"It needs to change. And I will make sure it does, even if that means dragging your ass down here every day"

"I wouldn't mind that" Mike said smirking and attempting to bring some humour into the conversation.

It was mid way through the food when Mike began to feel it. It started off as just tightness in his chest but it was slowly becoming more painful. He didn't want Harvey to notice so he carried on forcefully eating his food.

He clenched his fists as the pain grew unbearable. It was spreading and it was a horrific tight pain and it felt like someone was shoving knives in his chest.

"Mike are you in pain?" His head shot up to look at Harvey.

"What? No" He quickly replied – maybe too quickly.

"How bad is it?"

"What?" He asked again acting more confused than he actually was.

"Out of ten?" Harvey asked sitting forward slightly.

And then Mike couldn't take it anymore.

"Eight" He grumbled clenching his teeth.

"Come on up you get lets go" He walked over to Mike and pulled him up by his elbow.

If Mike said it was an eight, then it was most likely a ten.

Harvey led him outside keeping a firm grip on his arm. One look at the kids face and you could see how much pain he was in. Harvey knew he hadn't brought any painkillers with him so the only solution would be to go back to the firm. He would have called Ray but the wait would be too long so instead he hailed a taxi.

Mike closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He could get through this. It had been this bad before but he had quickly taken his painkillers. He felt Harvey's hand move from his arm to his shoulder as he gripped onto Mike.

Mike then turned and pressed his forehead onto Harvey's shoulder. Harvey squeezed the younger man's shoulder gripping onto him and rubbing his shoulder slightly. They quickly got into the taxi and Harvey told the driver to take them to the firm and told him he would pay him extra if he got there quicker.

Throughout the whole journey Mike kept his head pressed onto Harvey's shoulder and his eyes screwed shut. Harvey just prayed that they got there fast; he couldn't stand to see Mike like this.

They soon arrived at the firm and Harvey tossed a few bills forward to the driver. Harvey helped Mike out of the car and they quickly made their way into the firm.

Mike attempted to act as normal as he could as they reached the 50th floor and began to walk down. He was no longer holding onto Harvey. He attempted to keep his facial expression neutral. However, Harvey didn't remove the hand that was firmly gripping onto Mike's shoulder.

They reached Mike's office and went inside. Harvey led Mike to the chair and Mike sat down while Harvey rummaged in his bag for the pills. He fished them out and handed them to Mike along with a glass of water which was already on Mike's desk. Mike gratefully took the pill and swallowed it.

He sat back for about 10 minutes with his eyes shut and his head resting back. Harvey also sat patiently waiting for Mike to feel better.

Mike soon opened his eyes and sat slightly forward.

"You better?" Harvey asked.

Mike nodded at him and ran a hand through his hair "Thanks ... and urm sorry for you know using you as a cushion earlier" He said reddening slightly.

"Don't mention it" Harvey replied letting out a small chuckle.

He sat there for a further 5 minutes before standing up to leave.

"If you need anything I'm just down the corridor" Harvey told him.

"I know" Mike said with a small smile and Harvey turned and walked out of the office.

But little did he know that things were about to get a hundred time worse for Mike.

* * *

Mike fell onto the floor landing on his knees. He didn't know what was happening to him. His face was dripping with sweat and his vision was a blur. His breaths were coming out short and raspy and he was pretty certain they would stop soon – that's if he didn't go and get help.

 _Harvey's only down the corridor_ He thought to himself as he used the desk to heave himself up. He failed and fell back onto the floor, his breathing speeding up. His eyes began to roll up but he quickly brought them back down again. _You can do this_ he thought to himself _It's not that far_. He then gripped back onto the desk and used the little energy he had left to pull himself up, knocking things over from the desk in the process.

He stood for a few seconds, his knuckles white from gripping onto the desk. He waited for the dizziness to subside. It didn't completely go but when there was a slight difference, he began to walk – more like stumble – out of his office.

He had no idea what was going on around him. There were voices but he didn't know who's or where they were coming from. It was all a blur.

He wasn't going to make it far – he just knew it. He had absolutely no idea where he was going; he was stumbling all over the place.

He took a few more steps before his knees buckles and his legs gave way.

* * *

Louis walked down the corridor towards his office when he saw Mike. There was something wrong with the kid – he wasn't walking straight and he didn't look great either.

Louis began to pick up the pace – Mike was ill and Louis sure as hell hoped that it had nothing to do with it.

He almost reached Mike and as he grew closer he could see just how terrible the younger man looked. His face was a greyish colour and it was dripping with preparation. His hands were trembling and he was very unsteady on his feet – he looked like he would fall over any second now-

"Mike!" He yelled out as the associate fell down in front of him.

He rushed forward and although he wasn't quick enough to completely prevent Mike from hitting the floor, he was there in time to stop his head from making a nasty contact with the ground.

He sat on the floor with Mike lying in front of him. He would be lying if he said he wasn't panicking.

Some of the associates began crowding around to see what had happened.

"Go call Harvey!" Louis snapped at them "Now!" He yelled causing 2 of them to rush off.

He didn't know what to do, but then he suddenly remembered Mike pull out an inhaler from his pocket. He reached inside his jacket pocket and pulled out an oxygen mask and an inhaler. He decided the mask would be more suitable for Mike's breaths were now virtually non-existent.

* * *

Harvey was on the phone to a client when two very panicked looking associates rushed in – without knocking.

"Can you not see-" He was about to snap at them before one of the associates began to speak.

"Louis said t-to get you ... Mike he's collapsed I don't know w-" But Harvey was already off his seat and rushing down the corridor – leaving the client on the line.

He quickly arrived where he assumed Mike was as everyone had gathered around.

"Move out of the way!" He snapped "All of you!" The associates all quickly moved away and Harvey bit back a curse as he saw Mike.

This was worse than the time in the file room. Mike was clearly unconscious and was lying down in front of Louis who looked close to tears himself as he had an oxygen mask pressed to Mike's face.

Harvey quickly got down onto the floor and Louis moved out of the way. Harvey removed his suit jacket and placed it under Mike's head.

"we've called for an ambulance" He heard Louis say. He placed his fingers on Mike's neck and his heart began pounding as he could barely feel a pulse.

"What happened?" He asked through gritted teeth.

"I-I don't know Harvey I was just walking and I saw Mike and then he just collapsed"

Harvey placed a hand on Mike's arm and just prayed the ambulance would come quick.

* * *

 **i really hope you liked it let me know what you thought:)**

 **oh and im sorry for taking so long to update and then leaving it with kinda a cliffhangerish**

 **feel free to review:)))**

 **-wrxppedup**


	11. Chapter 11

**hi guyssss here i am with chapter 11  
firstly i just want to apologise for taking so long to update this i was just suffering from writer's block and i also started writing some new stuff  
anyways i'm really sorry and thanks to those of you who are still reading this story it means a lot;)**

 **i apologise if any of my medical references are incorrect, i did do some research and i hope everything is accurate**

 **so i finished writing this and then i suddenly remembered it wasnt supposed to be like this and i missed out a big thing that was supposed to happen haha but i decided to add that into the next chapter**

 **and how amazing was the season finale! season 6 needs to come quick! that fight scene between mike and harvey was everything omg! im quite glad with how things ended even though a hug would've been nice at the end;)**

 **anyways i really hope you like this :) enjoy**

* * *

 ** _end of chapter 10:_**

 _Harvey quickly got down onto the floor and Louis moved out of the way. Harvey removed his suit jacket and placed it under Mike's head._

 _"we've called for an ambulance" He heard Louis say. He placed his fingers on Mike's neck and his heart began pounding as he could barely feel a pulse._

 _"What happened?" He asked through gritted teeth._

 _"I-I don't know Harvey I was just walking and I saw Mike and then he just collapsed"_

 _Harvey placed a hand on Mike's arm and just prayed the ambulance would come quick._

* * *

 **CHAPTER 11**

Harvey sat there, his head in his hands, just waiting.

Harvey Specter hated waiting. He hated being oblivious. So he really wasn't handling the situation well right now. It had been half an hour and he was sitting in the waiting room unaware of what had happened to Mike. He had called Donna and she and Rachel were on their way down, both extremely worried.

He heard the sound of heels clicking frantically and he turned around as the noise grew louder.

Rachel had tears running down her cheeks and he could tell Donna was trying to contain hers.

"Harvey what happened?!" Donna asked him as both women approached him.

"I don't know, Mike just collapsed at the office and I haven't heard from the doctors since we got here" He rubbed his hands over his face and sighed.

"Oh God" He heard Rachel whisper and Donna brought her into an embrace whispering comforting words to her.

The two women sat down and a long 30 minute wait later, a doctor came towards them.

"Family of Michael Ross"

All 3 of them stood up.

"How is Mike, is he okay?" Harvey asked the man.

"Mike is doing well, much better than he was when you brought him in." All 3 of them relaxed slightly.

"So what happened?" Rachel asked.

"We've found a tumour growing in his thyroid which caused a blockage and meant he couldn't breathe"

"A tumour?! As in ... a cancer tumour?"

"I'm afraid so, the tumour is malignant so unfortunately it is a cancer"

Harvey was shocked. There was no way this could be happening. Thyroid cancer on top of lung cancer?! He looked over at Rachel who let out a strangled sob.

"I know this is bad news but thyroid cancer is not as serious as any of the others and the survival rate is extremely close to 100%" The doctor said in attempt to reassure them.

"So what happens now?"

"Well we have two choices, we can either do the radiotherapy which would be directly aimed at the thyroid or we could leave it to the chemo he is already undergoing to get rid of the tumour in the throat as well" The doctor explained "But we can talk about that later right now I'm guessing you want to be with Mike?"

"Yeah, can we see him?" Donna asked.

"Sure you can, we have him on a ventilator but he is conscious and he's asking about you guys" the doctor said with a smile.

"Thank you doctor" Harvey said shaking his hand.

"Not a problem let me know if you need anything – oh and Mike's doctor, Dr. Sylvester should be here to talk about it with you"

They walked into the room Mike was in and found him lying on the bed with his eyes closed.

There were tubes going up into his mouth which Harvey assumed where to help him breathe and he was surrounded by machines. God he looked so small.

"Mike" Rachel whispered approaching his bed.

His eyes suddenly flickered open.

"Rachel" He whispered and Rachel suddenly fell into his arms. They stayed like that for some time before they pulled away. Rachel brushed his hair back from his face and smiled sadly at him.

He turned to look at Harvey who was stood beside his bed.

"Damn kid as if one wasn't enough" Harvey joked but his voice contained only sadness and no humour.

Mike let out a small chuckle but then looked at Harvey with sad eyes.

"Too soon?" Harvey asked.

"Just a little" Mike replied, his voice hoarse.

He placed his hands on the bed and attempted to push himself up. With so little energy in his body, he failed and slumped back down. He tried again but this time he felt Harvey's strong hands helping him up.

"Easy" He said as he lifted Mike up to prop him up.

Mike mumbled a thanks to him before turning to look at Donna who was standing at the end of his bed. He smiled at her and she shook her head, her eyes filled with tears.

"Oh sweetie" She choked out and came forward to pull Mike into a tight hug.

They pulled away and Donna ran a hand through Mike's hair, brushing it off his forehead. Her eyes were glistening from the tears that she had managed to keep in.

"I'm okay, Donna" Mike told her in reassurance.

"You idiot, you're not supposed to be reassuring me" She said with a sad chuckle and a tear finally made its way down her face.

Mike was just about to say something when there was a knock at the door.

They all turned to see Dr. Sylvester walk through the door. He spent some time talking to them about what they would do next. They had caught the tumour in his thyroid pretty quick so luckily it hadn't spread so much.

"Mike, I'm going to put you on some pills that will prevent the tumour from growing until your next chemo session. It is easier if we stick to one treatment and deal with both cancers like that." He explained "Now I know this is hard, but I don't want you to lose any hope of get put down by this setback. You have alot of support" He said gesturing towards Harvey, Rachel and Donna "We're all with you on this and we aren't going to let another hurdle get to us, you got that?"

Mike nodded at the man and Harvey once again felt like he had made the right choice with the doctor.

"Now, I want you to rest until your next session so you're strong enough to continue with the treatment" He patted Mike on the shoulder and said goodbye to the rest of them before leaving through the door.

"You hear that kid?" Harvey asked giving Mike a small smile "We're all with you and we're going to get you better"

Mike smiled back but deep down inside he wasn't smiling; he was dying.

He was discharged the next morning with strict instructions to rest and take his medication regularly.

He still found it difficult to breathe which is why Harvey had strictly forbidden him from coming into work with the consequence of being fired – he knew Harvey would never do it but he thought he'd listen anyway.

His next chemo session was in 3 days so he could rest and regain his energy before then.

* * *

He was sitting in bed going through some case files. He had begged Harvey to give him some work he could do at home so he wasn't completely useless. Harvey had eventually caved mainly because he knew how hard it was for Mike to be made to miss work.

The doctor had told him to get rest and drink plenty of fluids. Rachel had made sure he didn't move from his bed as soon as he got home and she was constantly stocking him up with drinks. Of course he was extremely grateful for what she was doing for him, but all that fluid meant he needed to pee alot more.

Sighing, he got up and made his way to the bathroom. He noticed that he was already out of breath by the time he got there and his breaths were coming out short and restricted. He turned on the tap and splashed some water onto his face which was already damp with sweat. He clutched tightly at the sink and tried to focus on his breathing. His breaths were closing up and he was really losing it. Black dots began to appear in his vision and he blinked furiously in attempt to get rid of them. He took in a few deep breaths through his nose as taking them in threw his mouth was close to impossible. The black dots were growing and he could vaguely hear someone calling his name. It was Rachel. That was the last thing he heard before he blacked out.

Rachel went over to the bedroom to give Mike his meds only to find he wasn't there. She could hear the tap running and realised he was in the bathroom.

15 minutes later, the tap was still running. She frowned slightly and made her way to the bathroom – Mike wasn't one to take long.

"Mike" She called out knocking on the door.

She grew slightly concerned as she received no reply.

She knocked harder and called out his name a few more times but she got no response.

Worry was building up inside her and she realised she had to do something because something was definitely wrong.

She picked up her cell phone and called the only person she could think of who could help.

* * *

Harvey sighed contently as he pulled the covers over him. It had been a long day and he wanted nothing more than to have a good night's sleep which he would be getting after a long string of stressful days. He closed his eyes and relaxed as his body slumped into his luxury mattress. He could feel himself drifting off before suddenly being pulled back to earth by the irritating shrill of his cell phone. He groaned and wasn't intending to answer it. But then he realised there must be a reason if someone was calling at - he checked the time - 11:42pm. He turned onto his side and waved a blind hand out to retrieve his device. He let his eyes adjust and glanced at the caller id - Rachel? Why on earth was she calling him? He quickly picked up.

"Hi, Rachel" he mumbled still half asleep.

"Harvey, thank god!"

"Rachel, what's wrong?" He suddenly felt much more awake.

"It's Mike" Harvey's heart skipped a beat "I don't know what's happened but he's been in the bathroom for ages and I've been knocking and calling his name but he won't respond and I just know something is wrong but I don't know what to do I-"

"Rachel, relax" he told her as he stuffed his feet in a pair of shoes having already changed into a pair of jeans "calm down, I'm on my way" he told her as he made his way out of his condo.

He raced out of the building and started his car as quickly as he could. Apparently Rachel didn't want to hang up so she was still on the line while Harvey did what he thought was a rubbish job of comforting her - he was Harvey Specter, he didn't do comforting. Luckily mike and Rachel didn't live too far so it didn't take him that long before he found himself pulling up outside their apartment.

"I'm on my way up" he told her as he raced up the stairs, not wanting to wait for the elevator.

Rachel was already by the door when he got there and he noticed how her expression changed slightly when she saw him in a t-shirt, jacket and jeans - why on earth did everyone seem to think he so much as slept in his suits?

"Harvey, I'm sorry for waking you I just didn't know what to do I-"

"its fine Rachel, don't worry about it" he told her as they both made their way to the room.

Harvey knocked hard on the door but there was no response - only the sound of the tap running.

"Mike!" He shouted becoming anxious himself. He shouted his name out a few more times before standing back.

"You might need a new door after this" he told Rachel who originally looked confused but soon understood what he was about to do.

After taking a few steps back, he ran into the door, shoulder first, putting in all of his strength.  
He winced at the pain and stepped back once again as the door was still intact. He ran into the door once more and now the pain in his shoulder was getting worse and he still wasn't getting anywhere.

"This isn't working" he heard Rachel mumble and he couldn't say he disagreed. But then he thought of Mike. Anything could be wrong with the kid in there and he needed to help him. With those thoughts in his head, he took another few steps back and ran into the door for the third time putting his absolute all into the push. He yelled out in pain and fell into the bathroom through the door which had just broken off the lock. The pain in his shoulder was excruciating - maybe using his shoulder which was already semi-damaged from old baseball injuries wasn't such a good idea. He opened his eyes from where they were screwed shut in pain only to stop dead in his tracks at what he saw on the floor.

Mike was lying, lifeless, his head in a pool of blood.

His breath caught in his throat.

"Shit" he whispered in shock and quickly ran to kneel beside his associate. Behind him he could hear Rachel gasp and no doubt cry.

"Call 911, quick" he told her and turned to tend to Mike.

The kid looked extremely pale and his lips wore a tinge of blue. There was a nasty gash on the side of his head where he had most likely hit his head onto the basin.

"Oh shit, Mike" he whispered again.

He quickly felt for a pulse and was relieved that he found one although it was virtually nonexistent. He could hear Rachel sending tearful instructions over the phone and he just prayed they got here soon. The wound was still bleeding and he knew he had to do something about that. He quickly stripped off his jacket, gritting his teeth as pain shot through his arm as he did so. With shaky hands he placed the jacket onto the wound. He knew it wasn't the best thing to do but he just felt do helpless and it was the only thing he could think of to do.

He placed a hand onto Mike's cheek and bit back a curse as he realised how cold it was. He brought back a hand through Mike's hair, stroking it back. There wasn't that much there. It only looked like a lot because of the way Mike had it styled, but Harvey could see all the patches and he knew that if it hurt him so much, it must kill Mike.

He felt another presence beside him and looked up to see Rachel kneel down, tear tracks running down her face and her mascara smudged at her eyes.

"They're on their way" she informed him, her voice wavering "oh my god" she whispered as she took Mike's hand in hers and used the other one to touch his face.

"I can feel a pulse, he's going to be fine" she nodded but he didn't know who he was trying to reassure - Rachel or himself?

There were footsteps rushing into the room and he looked up to see several paramedics; he must've forgotten to shut the door on his way in.

They pushed Harvey and Rachel aside and began to tend to Mike.

They quickly placed an oxygen mask over his face and loaded him onto a gurney. They approached Rachel and asked her what had happened and she explained everything - from the cancer to the fall.  
Harvey was surprised at the pace they worked at as before he knew it, Mike was being carried out of the building.

Rachel went with them in the ambulance and he told her he would make his way down in his car.  
His hands gripped tightly onto the steering wheel as he sped down the road travelling way over the limit. Twice within a week. It was killing him, all of this going on with Mike. Seeing his little brother suffering so badly, it was eating him up from inside. He just hoped so much that Mike was okay this time. He was scared out of his skin at seeing Mike lying on the floor, lifeless. The image in his head made him only drive faster to the hospital.

* * *

He got to the hospital and found Rachel pacing in the corridor.

"Rachel, have you heard anything?" He asked approaching her.

"No, they've taken him in and I think its bad Harvey, they looked really worried" She ended the sentence in a whisper, on the verge of tears once again.

"He's gonna be fine, it's okay" He told her in attempt to maybe comfort her slightly.

They sat down for a further hour before Harvey began to get really pissed off. He marched to the reception and slammed down his fist. The nurse looked up at him in surprise.

"We're here for Michael Ross, we've been waiting for over an hour now and we haven't heard anything. We have no idea whether he's okay or not and I need to know and this time I'm not having any of your shit I need-"

"Harvey"

He turned around to see Dr. Sylvester standing behind him.

"James"

He nodded at the nurse and took Harvey's arm taking him to the side.

"Relax, he's okay" The doctor told him and looked towards Rachel who quickly made her way over.

"They called me as soon as he was brought in. He had quite a nasty hit on the head as he fell and the wound is quite deep. He lost alot of blood but we have him on a drip and we've stitched up the wound." He informed the anxious pair "But there is a more serious matter we need to talk about"

Both of then straightened up.

"We have done some scans and unfortunately, the cancer in his thyroid has actually spread more than we expected"

Harvey suddenly felt a huge lump in his throat and Rachel gasped.

"Obviously we didn't expect it to but it is what we think caused his fall. We think Mike passed out because of a lack of oxygen as he couldn't breathe. The tumour is blocking up his thyroid and we need to do a partial thyroidectomy to remove some of his thyroid otherwise it could be extremely dangerous."

Harvey ran a hand down his face and blinked quickly, desperate to avoid any tears that might appear. Rachel on the other hand, wasn't able to hold back the tears.

"A thyroidectomy is where we remove part of Mike's thyroid, so the part with the tumour. There can be a few complications as expected but nothing too dangerous and I will personally be leading the surgery so I will ensure everything goes perfectly fine. I just need your consent" He said addressing both of them.

"Yeah, urm, do the surgery"

"Thank you. I promise you it will go well" He squeezed Harvey's shoulder and rubbed Rachel's arm before leaving.

The next few hours were the longest hours of their lives.

Harvey was sitting beside Rachel who was worried out of her mind. He wasn't the best at comforting so he had no idea what to do when she broke into tears every now and then. But he guessed it must have been equally difficult for her. He did the best he could to help her, he left to by coffee for both of them and managed to get her a box of tissues.

* * *

It was nearing 4am when they saw Dr Sylvester walking down the hallway.

They both shot up onto their feet and sped down towards him.

"How did it go?" Harvey asked desperate to know.

"The surgery was successful." They both let out a breath they didn't realise they had been holding "We managed to remove the majority of the tumour, and if there is anything left, it will be completely wiped out by the chemo"

"Thank god" Rachel whispered wiping away a tear.

"Is he awake? Can we see him?" Harvey needed to see for himself that Mike was okay.

"He is not yet conscious, he is still in the recovery room we are just waiting for the anaesthetic to wear off but you can go and sit with him if you like"

"Thanks, James" Harvey said shaking the doctor's hand.

"No problem. Oh, one more thing" They both turned to face him "The cancer in Mike's lungs has progressed and his respiratory system is quite weak. We have him on a ventilator right now and we will need to keep him under observation for the night to see how his breathing is. However" He paused and gave a small sigh "Mike may need to now be reliant on a nasal cannula which would be hooked onto some oxygen; it's inevitable and looking at his state now, I don't think he'll be able to go without it"

And just when they thought things couldn't get any worse.

Mike was going to have to live attached to an oxygen tank from now on.

Harvey swallowed hard and he could feel Rachel tense up beside him.

"You guys have to understand that this was more or less inevitable. I know this is hard but you need to help him through it." They both nodded. It was true, this would be much harder for Mike adapting to a new life than it would be for them.

They thanked the doctor and made their way to Mike's room.

Mike was lying in the bed in his own room surrounded by machines helping him to breathe. His head was bandaged up and he was breathing peacefully.

Rachel went over and sat on a chair on one side of him and Harvey on the other side.

They sat there just looking at him, both of their hearts aching. He meant too much to both of them.

It was nearing 5am and they were both extremely tired but none of them were willing to leave his side.

Mike finally began to stir and they both watched as he attempted to open his eyes.

"Mike?" Rachel squeezed his hand tightly.

They sat in silence, watching as Mike began to come back to the world.

"R-Rachel" He croaked out.

"Hey" She said softly, her eyes twinkling as she smiled at him.

He turned around to see who it was on his other side with their hand on his arm.

"H-Harvey"

"Hey kid" Harvey said with a smirk.

"Where am I?" His throat was sore and hurt like hell every time he talked. His head hurt as well and he felt like he had been dragged through hell. There were tubes going up his nose and he was connected up to a few other wires and he could just about make out the beeping in the back.

"You're at the hospital" Harvey told him, slightly concerned that Mike was unaware of where he was.

"W-what happened?"

"You don't remember?" Harvey asked frowning.

"I-I" Mike closed his eyes trying to think "Oh god I was, I was in the bathroom and I-I couldn't breathe and then I think I just blacked out ... oh god"

"Yeah, you really don't know how to do things halfway do you kid" Harvey joked thumping Mike slightly on his arm, glad to have gotten a small smile from the kid.

Mike closed his eyes and began to groan slightly.

"You okay?" Harvey asked him.

"Yeah, my throat just kills"

"Well, you have just had some of your thyroid removed so I wouldn't be surprised."

"What?!" Mike asked, perhaps too loud as pain shot up through his whole neck. He winced and tightened his grip onto Rachel's hand.

"Mike, are you okay?" She asked him running a hand through his hair.

He shook his head, his eyes screwed shut in pain. The pain was excruciating. It was radiating all through his neck and chest and he didn't think he would be able to talk.

Harvey leaned forward and pressed the buzzer to call for the doctor.

Dr. Sylvester was there almost immediately.

"He's in alot of pain" Harvey told him "Can you do anything?"

"I'll up his dose of painkillers but the pain is to be expected, he needs to take it easy"

The doctor increased the medicine and left the room. Mike dropped off again for about an hour and when he woke up, both Harvey and Rachel were dozing off in their chairs.

He turned slightly to look at the clock in the room. 6am. Had they been here all night? They probably had which meant they hadn't gotten any sleep. Mike's eyes begun to droop again and he didn't fight it deciding it was best if they all slept.

The next time he woke up it was just past 10am.

He was tired of lying down but when he tried to sit up, he found he was too weak. He sighed at how pathetic he felt.

"You alright?" He turned to see Harvey looking at him, concern etched deep into his eyes.

"Yeah, I just -" He ran a hand over his face "I just feel so weak and pathetic I can't even sit up" He let out a humourless chuckle.

"Alright, let's get you up" Harvey stood up and moved closer to Mike. He planted his hands under Mike's armpits and heaved him up. Pain suddenly shot up Harvey's bad shoulder and after propping Mike up, he collapsed into his chair.

"Harvey, you okay?" Mike asked frowning at the sight of Harvey clutching his shoulder in pain.

"Yeah, I'm fine" Harvey told him "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay, still a little sore but better than yesterday although I don't think this is going anytime soon" He laughed gesturing towards the scar on his neck.

"I don't think it will, buddy"

"What happened to your shoulder?"

"Nothing Mike, I'm fine"

"No you're not" They both turned to see Rachel who had just woken up.

"Rachel-"

"Harvey, you need to get it checked out"

"It's fine"

"No it's not, you're in pain"

"Rachel, I'm fine"

"Can one of you please tell me what happened?" Mike spoke up from his spot on the bed.

"When you were in the bathroom for ages I was worried and I called Harvey. Harvey came and knocked down the door using his shoulder and he's been in pain ever since" Rachel told him.

"Like I said before, it's nothing I-"

"Wait a minute, isn't that the shoulder you had already hurt from your old baseball injuries?"

"Yes, but its fine I-"

"Harvey, no it's not you were complaining about that shoulder the day we were bringing boxes from the file room – how the hell did you manage to break down that door?" Mike would be lying if he said he didn't feel guilty. Harvey was in pain because of him.

"I do have alot of muscle – I work out in case you didn't know"

"You need to get it checked out" Mike told him ignoring the previous comment.

"It's nothing, just a bit of bruising"

"Harvey, there's no harm in getting it looked at!"

"Okay, fine I'll get it checked out" Harvey said putting his hands up.

"And Harvey" Harvey looked up at him "Thanks"

* * *

Dr Sylvester wheeled Mike back into the room after having taken him out to do some tests.

Harvey helped Mike out of the chair and into the bed.

The doctor went through the whole procedure with them about the effects of the thyroidectomy and what he could and couldn't eat. He then began to talk about Mike's breathing. They had done a few tests where they removed the nasal cannula and checked to see how Mike was breathing without it. Mike's breathing was laboured without it and he had been struggling to take in oxygen properly. From there the doctor decided that Mike had no choice but to live with the nasal cannula.

"What so I have to be hooked up to the oxygen all the time?" Mike asked trying to hide the miserable tone in his voice. Rachel sat beside him in the bed and rubbed his shoulder.

"Yes, you do. The tank works in a way that it extracts oxygen from the air so you won't need a refill or anything. You will have to take the tank with you everywhere you go and you will have a separate machine to go in your home which will have a longer tube that you'll connect to when you're at home"

Mike nodded and rested his head back. His life was changing drastically and it was killing him.

"I know this is hard Mike, but unfortunately we don't have a choice. You need to learn to adapt to it and you have your family here to help you through it" Dr Sylvester told him gesturing to Harvey and Rachel.

Mike nodded and he felt Harvey squeeze his shoulder slightly.

Mike was discharged later that day after being kept under a few hours of observation. He was told he could only eat liquid foods for the next week as his throat would be sore. He was given antibiotics to prevent an infection in his thyroid – the last thing they wanted was yet another issue.

He denied the wheelchair deciding he wanted some normality in his life, and having a wheelchair would make him feel even sicker.

They walked out of the hospital, Harvey, Rachel and Mike. Donna and Louis had found out about what happened and were going to visit Mike when he got home.

They walked towards the car, Mike dragging his oxygen cart with him. It was strange thinking he would have to be hooked up to it now at all times. Harvey had already dropped the other machine off to Mike's place and had ensured it was all set up properly. They approached some stairs and Mike was about to bend down to lift up the cart, when he saw Harvey bend down and lift it instead. He didn't comment as Harvey carried the tank down the stairs but he just smiled to himself slightly, grateful for his family.

* * *

 **thank you so much for reading and thanks for all your reviews i really appreciate them:)**


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